You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

What’s the Price of My Personal Integrity?

Dear Nan:

I am an assistant to three realtors. I accidentally saw some highly confidential, personal paperwork that one of my agents had on her desk concerning a sale. She wasn’t supposed to have these papers; heaven knows how she came by them. By acting on this information, she took advantage of a situation and made substantially more money than she would have otherwise been entitled. I feigned ignorance and asked her about what I saw. She became defensive and then rushed off to an appointment. The next morning, at a meeting with the other agents, she pushed through a big raise in my salary. I deserved the raise anyway, but this was quite a bit more than I expected. After the meeting, she told me I could keep my job if I “forgot” everything that had occurred the prior day.

Keeping this secret feels like carrying a loaded gun that could go off at any moment. If I say anything to the wrong person, my boss could lose her license, her job, and maybe even go to jail. If I keep her secret, life will probably go on as normal. Part of me wants to clear my conscience, but then I would feel bad for ruining this woman’s career. Another part of me wants to forgive and forget her lapse of judgment. She has never done this sort of thing before, and she told me she will never do it again. Should one mistake send her career down the drain? And, should I be the one to pull the plug?

—Phyllis in Hoboken, NJ

What’s your price to do the deed, keep quiet, ...