You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

Talk before You Walk

When I asked my readers for their insights regarding Gerard’s dilemma and Audrey’s dilemma, virtually all suggested more discussion with their bosses before actions were taken that could not be undone. “Action should start with a frank conversation with your supervisor about anything you are concerned about,” according to Myrna Thompson at Pacific Bell.

Gerard and Audrey should ask:

• “Are you aware that _______?” This gets you on the same page. Skip the drama, and make no accusations.
• “Are you aware that this is an ethical dilemma?”
• “Are you aware that situations like this can affect my job performance and possibly the performance of others?”
• “What can we do about this?” The we makes it clear that this is something you must all work on together.
• “What can I do (specifically) to help?” You’re showing that you don’t just want to complain about this situation—you want to do something to change it!

In a perfect world, Gerard’s boss will retract his request and Audrey’s boss will recognize her as an ally.

“If [Audrey’s] company does not respond to these dilemmas, they will lose good employees and customers,” says Norma Kasinger, who replied to one of my columns. “There are revolving doors in both the human resource and marketing departments at companies that have an unethical culture.”

But what can Audrey do if her boss is part—or most—of the problem (as I suspect might be the case)? Since an office’s culture is a reflection and extension of the boss, he sets the ...