You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

Your “Little White Line”

In fairness to Janice, the silliness of the toilet water was her “little white line”—one that she knew she could not cross and remain happy. Everyone has this boundary of personal ethics that surrounds their activities. It is your personal list of do’s and don’ts, and being wise enough to know where that line is will help you avoid all kinds of trouble. When someone steps over your ethical line, you have a right—even an obligation—to push back and insist on maintaining your standards. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “We all boil at different degrees!”

I’ve heard countless other tales of managers’ personal requests that bother assistants. I have the strong opinion that bosses generally will keep asking you to do more and more until they hear “No more!” from you, thereby signaling that they have reached your little white line. And though they’ll likely respect your limits once you’ve identified them, no one will know where your boundaries are until you tell them. You may not be able to list everything that is on your “do” or “don’t” list off the top of your head. You may not even discover what they are until pressed to do something you find objectionable, at which time you must speak up clearly and immediately.

Now, you can imagine there are other assistants who regularly check the color of the toilet water in their boss’s private bathrooms. They don’t mind; it’s simply not an issue for them. However, they might find another task or request objectionable. ...