You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

How to Get Harassment to Stop

Dear Nan:

My boss has a dreadful temper. It is known throughout the company that he blows his stack now and then, lets loose with four-letter words, and even once threw a stapler across the room in my presence. He has never directed his explosions (or staplers) at me personally; however, he often addresses me in a demeaning and condescending manner. I know I’m a good assistant, but his actions make me doubt myself. I thought I could get used to his temper tantrums, but I’m more unnerved every day. I like (and need) the job otherwise. Is there anything I can do about this?

—Martha in Tampa, FL

In addition to enrolling in an anger management class, Martha’s boss needs to grow up.

The popular 1980s movie Nine to Five served as an eye-opener to abusive, over-the-top bosses. A more recent flick, The Devil Wears Prada, starred Meryl Streep as an equally outrageously demanding boss in the high-fashion industry. Both put faces on the “Boss from Hell”—and depicted an all-too-real, painful reality for many. The former told the story of an abusive boss who got his just desserts when a group of secretaries—played by Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, and Dolly Parton—literally strung him up. In the latter, we cheered our heroine assistant when, after selling her soul to the devil of fashion for a year, she walked off the job with lessons learned.

Do harassing bosses really believe that their browbeating intimidation tactics achieve legitimate business objectives? Unfortunately, ...