You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

Little White Lies

What about this oft-defended category of deceit? Like the lie to prevent serious harm, I believe that many of these are morally justifiable, too. My definition of a “little white lie” is pretty narrow, though. The lie must really be “little”—meaning that it’s about something of trivial or no consequence, and causes absolutely no harm to anyone. However, the level of “harmlessness” is always open to debate. A liar will often downplay the harm he thinks his lie may cause, and might sometimes even try to couch it as something beneficial. You can test a lie’s justification by asking one simple question: How would the person being deceived feel about the lie?

Telling “little white lies” or “fibettes” is sometimes necessary to save someone from embarrassment or social discomfort—in other words, to be polite. This happens all the time when, for instance, someone asks, “Do you like my new haircut?” and you say “Yes,” even though you are really thinking, “Why would you ever do that to yourself?” While lying to spare someone’s feelings or extricate yourself from an awkward situation isn’t always nice, it can be expedient and justifiable. A “little white lie” is also different from a “regular lie” because of the liar’s motive. The former is told with good intentions, while the latter is told with selfishness. Again, reasonable people will disagree about where that line is and whether the liars can accurately discern their true motives; for example, are they lying to their ...