You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

The Pit-of-the-Stomach Rule

Why are vendors’ gift-giving practices so troublesome? Because rather than using a gift to say “thank you,” some vendors use gifts to say “choose me, choose me.” It may not always be that explicit, but that’s what they mean. How can you tell? Because, unlike other thank-you gifts, this one comes before you have ever done anything.

Trying to win influence over the people who make purchasing decisions works often enough to perpetuate the practice. A bottle of wine, a trip, a box of steaks, gift certificates, and so on are obvious inducements (spelled b-r-i-b-e). Less obvious are the promises to make an introduction that will help your spouse, write a letter for your son’s college application, or provide a lead on a new house or job. These are highly personal in nature and out of your boss’s sight. No matter what the nature of the enticements, these are all intended to facilitate a shortcut to getting your company’s business. They’re good for you and bad for your employer.

Can you ever accept gifts without stepping over ethical boundaries? Usually not, though it depends on the gift’s value, the true motivation behind it, the expectations attached to it, and your existing relationship with the vendor. For example, it may be appropriate for a hotel to offer a free or reduced rate as an inducement to have you sample a venue; however, it would be inappropriate for that same hotel to try to buy your favoritism with a “promotional” flat screen or digital camera. ...