You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

Viva Romance!

However, I am aware that at times, love does conquer all. So if you must proceed, by all means—keep your romance out of the office! Some people actually accomplish this, and coworkers discover their secret only when the wedding announcements arrive. However, this is the exception, not the rule. Usually, the couple thinks no one knows about their romance, when in actuality, our friend Ms. Kidding is right: they are the last to know that everyone knows!

Should you find yourself in this situation, here are a few guidelines to help you keep your head in the game around your new romance:

• Don’t look up—and don’t look down. Don’t even consider a romance with someone to whom you directly report, or someone who reports to you (even if layers exist between you). Following a seminar, I had dinner with the human resource director of a major company in the Midwest. That day, we had discussed the company’s policy forbidding “romantic reporting-to relationships.” I asked him, “What do you do, then, if one of your supervisors becomes involved with someone who reports to him or her?” He replied: “We don’t fire anyone—but we do split up their working relationship. And, Nan, ‘off the record,’ from that time on, neither is promoted again.” Strong words, and maybe not fair. But it’s an unwritten policy that’s certainly not provable—and it’s how seriously this company takes the infraction.
• Be realistic. Know your temperament. Ask yourself the following important question: If I get involved ...