You've Got to Be Kidding!: How to Keep Your Job Without Losing Your Integrity

Employers Are Confused as Well

Workplace romances may well end happily ever after, but the odds are against it. To some employers, the possibility of unhappy outcomes makes stringent measures against workplace relationships seem justifiable. Yet most organizations employ a hands-off, “don’t ask–don’t tell” policy. More and more, however, are addressing the topic in their handbooks and some even explicitly prohibit dating among employees (a policy that is illegal anyhow). Human resource managers without policies say they do not want to be “cupid cops”—something they claim to be a heavy-handed invasion of an employee’s private life—and I agree. As one supervisor told me, “We are also trying to avoid the possible consequences of employees’ hiding their relationships.” However, this often results in employers’ being in the dark until it’s too late—when it’s no longer possible to avoid legal, morale, and professional repercussions.