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You Can’t Talk to Me That Way!

Book Description

You Can’t Talk to Me That Way! Stopping Toxic Language in the Workplace stands up to verbally abusive bosses, co-workers, and others and says, “Enough!” It shows readers exactly what to say and do to end the humiliation and torment.

Real injury—deep wounds and lasting pain—occurs as a result of verbal insults, putdowns, and ridicule in the workplace.

This book is for anyone who has become discouraged, withdrawn and isolated at work due to verbal attacks—or, just as often, has been provoked into shouting matches and verbal confrontations with his or her attacker. Toxic language in the workplace causes people to withhold their best effort, transfer to a different division, or quit outright. Productivity and team spirit wither under a cloud of language meant to humiliate, hurt, and demean.

To all those who spew such language at their co-workers, subordinates, and bosses, this book insists “You Can’t Talk to Me That Way!”

“You Can’t Talk to Me That Way! Stopping Toxic Language in the Workplace”:

• Presents a set of personal strategies for ending verbal assault and recovering from its effects.

• Investigates the motives and methods of verbal attackers: who they are, how they operate, and why they torture others by verbal assaults,

• Examines the psychology and circumstances of those targeted for verbal assault.

• Suggests specific, practical steps companies can take to become aware of destructive environments and act quickly and legally to combat them

• Makes readers aware of their legal options if toxic language at work is damaging their reputations, career progress, and/or physical or psychological well-being.

• Offers a vision of the compatible, decent workplace where employees can do their best work without fear of demeaning verbal assaults from work associates at any level.

Arthur H. Bell received his Ph.D. from Harvard University. He is Professor of Management Communication and Director of Communication Programs at the Masagung Graduate School of Management, University of San Francisco. Art has consulted on communication issues for many Fortune 500 companies and is the author of more than 40 books and hundreds of articles on management strategy, communication, and language

Table of Contents

  1. Praise
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Dedication
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Introduction
  8. PART I - Understanding, Appreciating, and E valuating the Character of Top Performers
    1. Chapter One - What Is the Foundation of a Success-Based Mentality?
      1. Following the Yellow Brick Road
      2. People Skills, Character, and Science
      3. Why Character Analysis Makes Hiring Easier
      4. Managers, Trust Your Knowledge!
      5. Success Is a Team Activity
      6. Laying the First Stones of a Successful Hiring Process
      7. How Much Process Do You Need to Find the Perfect Fit?
      8. Insider Secret: Character Comes First
      9. What Are Your Thoughts on the Character Connection?
      10. What Character Traits Matter Most to You?
    2. Chapter Two - Building a Selection Model Based on Character
      1. Character vs. Entitlement
      2. How Do You Know When Entitlement Is Not There?
      3. Character vs.Personality
      4. Selection as an Art and a Science
      5. Making It Easier for Champions to Find You
      6. Insights on Character and Culture From the Marines
      7. The Character of Your Culture
      8. Candidate-Employer Alignment
      9. Asking Your Top Performers to Help You Analyze the Job Skills
    3. Chapter Three - Anticipating Performance Needs
      1. Keeping It Simple
      2. Anticipating the Moment of Truth
      3. Incorporating a SPAR Analysis Before the Interview
      4. A Two-Tiered Approach to Deeper Job Analysis
    4. Chapter Four - Getting the Candidate Involved in the Assessment Process
      1. Using These Results
      2. An Example of Excellence in a Prescreening Assignment
      3. Using PowerPoint Resumes
      4. Ask the Candidate How He or She Would Like to Be Evaluated
    5. Chapter Five - How to Use Assessment Tests
      1. Who Will Take a Final Stand for Your Candidate and Say Yes or No?
      2. Eight Critical Questions and Steps for Assessment-Driven Interviews: The Core ...
      3. The Wrong Candidates Will Not Make It Through the Process
      4. Two Ways to Get a Competency Assessment: Internal Assessment and Validated Assessment
      5. Measurable Traits That Make Sense to Measure
      6. Examples of Work-Related Competencies and Traits
      7. Becoming “Competency-Conscious”
      8. Using Validated Selection Tools With a Competency Focus
      9. Sales Force Analysis Using Validated Tests
      10. Limitations of Assessment Tests
      11. Character-Based Reference Checks
      12. Additional Advantages of Using Validated Competency Models
      13. Strategic Tools for Talent Management
    6. Chapter Six - Character, Performance, and Heart
      1. The Holy Grail of Excellence
      2. The Case for Balanced Optimism
      3. The Scientifically Validated Power of Optimism
      4. Optimism as a Source of Happiness
      5. Other Ideas on the Traits of Peak Performers
      6. The Fundamental Principles of the Will to Succeed
      7. Practicing the Art of Happiness
      8. The Woman Who Wouldn’t Give Up
      9. Making a List of High-Achiever Traits
      10. Questions That Get at Authenticity
    7. Chapter Seven - Character, Performance, and Values
      1. Helping Candidates Assess Their Values
      2. An Unsung Values Hero
      3. The Emergence of the Personal Attitudes, Interests, and Values Instrument
      4. Six Core Measurable Values
      5. The Six Business Motivators: A Deeper Explanation of Values in the Workplace
      6. Helping Candidates Talk About Their Values
    8. Chapter Eight - How Ego Needs Affect the Job Match
      1. Basic Behavioral Psychology in the Workplace
      2. Emotional Intelligence 101
      3. Are They Being Authentic or Just Telling You What You Want to Hear?
      4. How Values and Psychology Both Play a Role in Job Happiness
      5. Naomi’s Heart vs. Aaron’s Heart
      6. Management Checklist for Motivating Different Types of Employees: Key Questions ...
  9. PART II - Creating Cultures of Greatness
    1. Chapter Nine - Building HighPerforming Organizations: Where Do You Start?
      1. Helping Your Team Aspire to Excellence
      2. Thought Exercise for Managers: Mapping Expectations
      3. Coaching With Assessment and Metrics
      4. The Marine Model of Coaching
      5. Another Training Tip for Managers: Give Your People a Writing Assignment
      6. The Importance of Optimism in Management and Coaching
      7. Additional Management Class on Retention Strategies
      8. Basic Principles for Increasing Incentive
      9. Critical Steps for Retaining High-Performing Individuals
    2. Chapter Ten - Aligning Employee Competency With Management Competency
      1. Competency Model Example One: Healthcare
      2. Healthcare Service Competencies: Maintaining a Service Mentality in Grueling Conditions
      3. Special Competencies of Senior Leaders in Biotechnology, Pharmaceuticals, and ...
      4. Call Center Selection: How Productivity Is Affected by Selection and Management
      5. Additional Traits Required of Call Center Managers
      6. Common Barriers to Productivity at Call Centers
      7. Common Executive Observations at Call Centers
      8. Lack of Confidence Issues
      9. What Managers and Agents Agree on in Hiring
      10. Guiding Principles for Superior Management and Higher Retention
      11. A Deeper View of Mentoring: Tips From a Man Who Should Know
    3. Chapter Eleven - The Chemistry of Trust: Key Strategies for Hiring Better ...
      1. Executive Character Reflects a History of Discipline
      2. Creating Character-Centered Job Descriptions for Executive Positions and Postings
      3. A Committed Strategy in Character-Based Selection
      4. Cultures of Entitlement vs. Cultures of Stewardship
      5. Character-Based Teams as a Business Model: An Interview With J.P. Sakey, CEO, ...
      6. A Few Additional Thoughts on the Nature of Trust
      7. Legitimate Leadership Involves Two-Way Trust
      8. The Seven Essential Traits of Legitimate Leaders
    4. Chapter Twelve - Raising the Bar: Simple Strategies for Encouraging Perpetual Aspiration
      1. How Accountability Works in Paradise
      2. Team Meetings at MAGIC: A Behind the Scenes Look at Training and Accountability
      3. Behind Closed Doors
      4. Putting the Big Picture Under a Microscope
      5. How Leaders Can Work at Change: Key Questions
      6. Back to Moral Intelligence
    5. Chapter Thirteen - How to Measure and Improve the Effectiveness of ...
      1. Best Practices in Internal Marketing: Strategies for Building Continuous ...
      2. The Importance of Reinforcing Messages
      3. How Communication Failure Occurs
      4. Summary: Key Benefits of Improved Communications Processes
    6. Chapter Fourteen - Toward a Greater Vision of Human Potential
      1. Skills of the Noble Profession Defined
  10. Bibliography
  11. About the Author