What's Stopping You?: Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential, and How You Can

Be Self-Critical

You cannot have a positive attitude all the time, states Pearsall, who openly questions the idea of clinging to high self-regard no matter what the setback – therefore reducing your ability to be self-critical. Guilt and shame are not always the villains, self-esteem not the only “sacred cow”. Doubt, depression, guilt, even shame can spur people to change for the better, he says, while hope and positivity can wrap people so tightly in their future goals that they miss the present moment.

Instead of self-improvement you should choose a different goal, says Pearsall: enjoying your life. You should therefore savour the present – even the bad bits – instead of seeking happiness in the future.

“There isn’t anything wrong with being ...