What Your Body Says (and how to master the message): Inspire, Influence, Build Trust, and Create Lasting Business Relationships

Introduction

Have you ever walked away from a person, event, or situation and felt confused, and the experience made you feel uncomfortable and uncertain? You are not alone. Most likely, the subconscious cues—the nonverbals you saw—didn't match what you heard. So what to believe, your eyes or your ears?

If you are like most people, you believed your eyes, especially if you couldn't quite make sense of what you just heard.

Words are only a small part of communication. The most influential part of communication is your nonverbals. Your nonverbals can actually destroy or produce the results you want, such as inspiring employees to do better work, calming angry customers, creating fans in the marketplace, and closing sales.

Have you ever bought something you really didn't need—or hadn't intended to purchase—and later wondered, Why did I buy that? Most likely, it was because the salesperson saw nonverbal behaviors that let them know you were intrigued. The salesperson was looking for cues such as:

• One or both eyebrows raised.

• An upturn in the mouth.

• A slight sideways tip of the head.

• A lean in toward them (the salesperson) or the object of your desire.

• An audible umm.

As more of these nonverbal signals form a pattern, the salesperson knew with a high degree of certainty that with just a few more of the right words: Bingo, they had a sale. They read you like a book.

What if I told you that we all walk around with an Owner's Manual that everyone around us can read? That manual is full of nonverbal ...