What Your Body Says (and how to master the message): Inspire, Influence, Build Trust, and Create Lasting Business Relationships

Chapter 10. The Fine Print in Your Owner's Manual

Throughout the book, I've mentioned that we all have an Owner's Manual that is wide open to all who know how to read it—and this chapter is going to prove it to you.

We know that we would rather do business with those we like and trust. Nevertheless, why do we get along better with some people, and struggle to build relationships with others? It's just part of our Owner's Manual. People are not all the same and one person isn't consistent all the time. Your behaviors change depending on how you feel, the context of the event, and others' feedback. However, there are certain baseline behaviors you tend to favor.

The Trick Is to Remain Flexible

Forming quality relationships with various types of people requires an understanding of how and why we are alike and different. We all use words to describe our thoughts; those words tell others more about us than just our education level. There are also corresponding nonverbals that go along with the words we choose. Together, these two elements tell others about our internal world, or our mind's eye. The nouns and action verbs we choose often describe how we internally represent our reality.

If you remember with pictures and see your thoughts, then you probably tend to use more visual nouns and action verbs to describe what you are thinking. If your memories and thoughts are based on sounds—and are more auditory in nature—then you likely tend to use nouns and action verbs that reflect the sound ...