Chapter 1. The Naked Ape Dons the Designer Suit

What follows, with only a touch of dramatic license, is a true story. The details have been changed to protect the not-yet-indicted.

Three days remain in the quarter. You stare at the clock as if pure concentration can reverse the ticking of the minutes and hours until the reporting period closes. The cold, hard lump of dread settles in your belly: You will not make your numbers. This is not a fact that Wall Street will want to hear, not after your optimistic projections just six months ago that shot up the stock price four and a half points. Bad results now, barely halfway into the fiscal year, and the Street will hammer the stock. Never fool Mother Nature, or stock analysts.

But Wall Street will ...

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