Habit 4—Selective Hearing

The absence of active listening in the presence of a customer.

Arguably the most powerful empathy killer in interpersonal relations in any context, the inability to pay attention can tick off even the most forgiving human beings. It can turn you from front-runner to runner-up in no time flat.

In trying to understand and study the art and science of listening, the consensus seems to be that there are several levels at which people listen. All the studies start with some descriptor of blatantly ignoring someone and progress to some semblance of paying evaluative attention (listening only in order to be immediately ready to put in our own two cents) and sooner or later arrive at an active level of listening.

In most discussions ...

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