Chapter 15
Tuning In to Others
In This Chapter
Connecting with other people
Rediscovering your listening skills
Leading and influencing with your voice
Dancing in the moment
Cognitive psychology has a saying that the meaning of a communication is the response it elicits. This statement basically means that you may think, for example, that you’re speaking in a friendly way to someone, but if the other person finds you patronising, then – whatever your intention – the received message is condescending, not friendly. Speaking well is pointless if what you say doesn’t receive the response you want.
Your voice doesn’t exist in isolation – it’s a communication instrument to connect you with someone else. All the time you’re speaking, you’re connecting or not connecting. Even by your silence, you’re communicating something.
So the skill of watching and listening to others, tuning in to their state of mind and then expressing that connection with your voice is the magic ingredient of great communicators. When you’re able to connect with the general feeling of your listeners and then speak ...
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