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Unreasonable Men by Victor J. Seidler

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Chapter 12

Relationships

EMOTIONS AND ISOLATION

If as men we learn to objectify ourselves, it can be difficult not to objectify others, even those we feel closest to. If as a white middle-class man I have learned that self-control means suppressing my feelings and emotions then it can be difficult to respond in an open and emotionally responsive way. If I have never learned how to respect my own emotions and feelings, experiencing them as signs of weakness, then it is going to be difficult to respect the emotions and feelings of others. It might be particularly difficult to respond to our partner’s tears or expressions of feelings of inadequacy, assuming that as men we are somehow called upon to find solutions that might take these feelings ...

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