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Unformulated Experience by Donnel B. Stern

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10 The Analyst's Unformulated Experience of the Patient

Interpersonal influence can be effective without being known. We take this point for granted. Constant and mutual influence is the rule. We do not have to know what we are doing to affect others, and we do not have to be able to think about influence to accept it. Quite the contrary. The most profound interpersonal influence goes as deep as it does because it is not known by either party. We are most likely to participate unwittingly in precisely those interpersonal patterns we would describe as problematic—that is, if we could see the patterns well enough to describe them. This is true in any relationship, no less inside the consulting room than outside it, and no less for the analyst than ...

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