Thoughtfully Ruthless

Chapter 3Your Selfish Charter

Between our teenage years and our senior years, we become desperately selfless: We try to please our bosses, our partners, our teams, our coworkers, our children, and our parents—everyone but ourselves. Then, we wonder why we are mentally and physically exhausted! To find the balance of perfect freedom and selfishness, we need to adopt the best parts of the teenage and senior years and become more thoughtfully ruthless.

Do you remember all that sleep you had as a teenager? Endless lie-ins, time with friends, doing exactly what you liked, whenever you liked, however you could get away with it? It was your music blaring, your favorite food, your favorite movies, going where you wanted on the weekend. Teenagers have a reputation for being selfish because they are! They are self-absorbed, know what they want, and are ruthless with their friendships and their time. If a teenager doesn't enjoy spending time with someone, then they don't. Breakups and makeups happen at cheetah-like speed, and they shake off the drama equally as fast. Teenagers regularly spend time alone in silence. They also prioritize spending long weekends with friends they care about.

Let's leap to the other end of the age spectrum: As we get older something remarkable happens to our tact and diplomacy filter—it evaporates! The older you get, the less you care about what people think, and you say precisely what is on your mind. A study by the University of South Wales proves just that ...