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The True Cost of Happiness: The Real Story Behind Managing Your Money

Book Description

Personal money management advice that make sense

In The True Cost of Happiness, financial journalist Stacey Tisdale and expert financial planner Paula Boyer Kennedy combine their extensive financial experience with a powerful series of interviews and real-world stories to help you make personal money management decisions that make more sense.

They begin by discussing how the factors that drive our financial choices and behavior not only run deep, but also represent the way we define ourselves. From there, they reveal how this truth will determine if you can create the kind of financial harmony that not only supports the life you want, but also makes an honest statement of who you really are. The questions they pose are challenging, but essential, because if your financial choices and behavior are not aligned with your true values, you'll always feel like ""something"" is missing. And it is this disconnect that is at the root of most anxiety and unhappiness over money.

  • Reveals how the first lessons we learn about money as children play out in our adult behavior

  • Discusses how the messages that society sends us about the ways in which we should behave with money affect our financial choices

  • Explores factors that can blind us to our true values, and prevent us from making the best decisions possible on issues such as debt, saving, and investing

  • Illustrates how to create a financial plan that supports a truly happy life

Filled with in-depth insights and practical advice, The True Cost of Happiness will put you in a better position to enjoy a life that doesn't compromise who you are.

Table of Contents

  1. Copyright
  2. Acknowledgments
  3. Preface
  4. I. A LOOK INSIDE
    1. 1. Working Together
      1. 1.1. The Questions
      2. 1.2. Back at Starbucks ...
      3. 1.3. No Shortcuts
      4. 1.4. You as the Reporter
      5. 1.5. The Interview Zone
    2. 2. A Little Awareness Goes a Long Way
      1. 2.1. And If "Awareness" Alone Doesn't Work ...
    3. 3. The Big Picture: WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING FOR
      1. 3.1. Thinking about What's Important
      2. 3.2. Your Goals
    4. 4. The Price of Pleasing Mom and Pop: ARE YOUR EARLY LESSONS WORKING FOR YOU OR AGAINST YOU?
      1. 4.1. Psychobabble?
      2. 4.2. Money Scripts at Work
        1. 4.2.1. Where They Were Coming From
        2. 4.2.2. First Impressions
        3. 4.2.3. Other Imprints
      3. 4.3. Your Story
        1. 4.3.1. John's First Lessons About Money—Are They Helping Him Now?
        2. 4.3.2. A Look at How the Financial Lessons We Learned from Our Parents Affect the Choices We Make as Adults
      4. 4.4. Moving Forward
    5. 5. Social Messages
      1. 5.1. Food for Thought
        1. 5.1.1. Myth 1: There's Not Enough to Go Around
        2. 5.1.2. Myth 2: More Is Better
        3. 5.1.3. Myth 3: That's Just the Way It Is
      2. 5.2. The Joneses Got Rich
        1. 5.2.1. It's Human Nature to Compare
        2. 5.2.2. Your Best
        3. 5.2.3. The Nonmaterial
        4. 5.2.4. Are You Living Your Ideal Relationship with Money?
      3. 5.3. Gender Scripts
        1. 5.3.1. The Dangers for Men
        2. 5.3.2. The Dangers for Women
          1. 5.3.2.1. Women, How Are Societal Messages Affecting You?
      4. 5.4. Messages About Ethnicity and Race
        1. 5.4.1. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
        2. 5.4.2. Breaking the Cycle
      5. 5.5. Your Story
        1. 5.5.1. Living a Financial Life that Is Free from Social Pressures!
      6. 5.6. Moving Forward
    6. 6. The Songs We Play in Our Heads
      1. 6.1. The Song Remains the Same
      2. 6.2. Happy Songs
      3. 6.3. Top 10 Hits
      4. 6.4. It's All Inside!
      5. 6.5. Your Songs
      6. 6.6. Reality Check
      7. 6.7. Your Story ... In Tonight's Broadcast!
      8. 6.8. Moving Forward
    7. 7. Life Planning for Two
      1. 7.1. Communication—Fact or Myth?
      2. 7.2. The "I" in Integration
      3. 7.3. What Makes Them Tick
      4. 7.4. Creating a Climate for Communication
      5. 7.5. Your Story
        1. 7.5.1. Our Story ... In Tonight's Broadcast!
      6. 7.6. Moving Forward
    8. 8. Teach Your Children Well
      1. 8.1. When to Begin
      2. 8.2. Stay Connected
      3. 8.3. Kids Will Be Kids!
      4. 8.4. What's Mine Is Mine—Yours Is What I Choose to Give You!
      5. 8.5. Your Family Story
      6. 8.6. Moving Forward
    9. 9. The Truth about Change
      1. 9.1. The Changes that Will Help You Reach Your Financial Goals
      2. 9.2. "Changing for Good"
        1. 9.2.1. The Nine Tools for Change
          1. 9.2.1.1. Consciousness Raising.
          2. 9.2.1.2. Social Liberation.
          3. 9.2.1.3. Emotional Arousal.
          4. 9.2.1.4. Self-Reevaluation.
          5. 9.2.1.5. Commitment.
          6. 9.2.1.6. Countering.
          7. 9.2.1.7. Environment Control.
          8. 9.2.1.8. Reward.
          9. 9.2.1.9. Helping Relationships.
      3. 9.3. Determining Where You Stand
      4. 9.4. The Six Stages of Change
        1. 9.4.1. The Precontemplation Stage of Change
          1. 9.4.1.1. Defense Mechanisms for Precontemplators.
          2. 9.4.1.2. Precontemplation or Lifestyle Choice?
          3. 9.4.1.3. Successful Change Techniques for Precontemplators.
            1. 9.4.1.3.1. Consciousness Raising.
            2. 9.4.1.3.2. Helping Relationships.
            3. 9.4.1.3.3. Social Liberation.
        2. 9.4.2. The Contemplation Stage of Change
          1. 9.4.2.1. Defense Mechanisms for Contemplators.
          2. 9.4.2.2. Successful Change Techniques for Contemplators.
            1. 9.4.2.2.1. Emotional Arousal.
            2. 9.4.2.2.2. Consciousness Raising.
            3. 9.4.2.2.3. Self-Reevaluation.
            4. 9.4.2.2.4. Helping Relationships.
        3. 9.4.3. The Preparation Stage of Change
          1. 9.4.3.1. Successful Change Techniques for Those in the Preparation Stage.
            1. 9.4.3.1.1. Self-Reevaluation.
            2. 9.4.3.1.2. Helping Relationships.
            3. 9.4.3.1.3. Commitment.
        4. 9.4.4. The Action Stage of Change
          1. 9.4.4.1. Successful Change Techniques for People in the Action Stage.
            1. 9.4.4.1.1. Countering.
            2. 9.4.4.1.2. Environmental Control.
            3. 9.4.4.1.3. Rewards.
            4. 9.4.4.1.4. Helping Relationships.
        5. 9.4.5. The Maintenance Stage of Change
          1. 9.4.5.1. Successful Change Techniques for People in the Maintenance Stage.
            1. 9.4.5.1.1. Commitment.
            2. 9.4.5.1.2. Reward.
            3. 9.4.5.1.3. Helping Relationships.
            4. 9.4.5.1.4. Environment Controls.
            5. 9.4.5.1.5. Countering.
        6. 9.4.6. The Termination Stage of Change
      5. 9.5. Your Story
      6. 9.6. Moving Forward
  5. II. THE NUMBERS
    1. 10. Your Bottom Line
      1. 10.1. Your Bottom Line
        1. 10.1.1. What's Your Bottom Line?
      2. 10.2. Where You Are Now: Your Net Worth
        1. 10.2.1. What's It Worth?
        2. 10.2.2. What Do You Think?
      3. 10.3. Spending: Where's It All Going? Where Should It Be Going?
        1. 10.3.1. The Next Seven Days—How to Create a History of Your Spending
        2. 10.3.2. How to Track Your Spending
        3. 10.3.3. One Week Later ...
        4. 10.3.4. Reality Check
        5. 10.3.5. More Money for Your Goals
    2. 11. Saving Money
      1. 11.1. Why It's Important to Save
      2. 11.2. Your Savings, from the Inside Out!
      3. 11.3. Saving for Your Goals
        1. 11.3.1. Time Horizon
        2. 11.3.2. Building an Emergency Fund
      4. 11.4. Tips on Saving
      5. 11.5. Your Bottom Line
    3. 12. Debt: WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN
      1. 12.1. Your Debt Load
      2. 12.2. Your Ideal Relationship with Debt
      3. 12.3. Getting Rid of Your Debt
        1. 12.3.1. How to Get Rid of Those Pesky Credit Card Bills
          1. 12.3.1.1. Stop Using Credit Cards.
          2. 12.3.1.2. If You Think You Need Help ...
      4. 12.4. When Debt Is an Addiction
      5. 12.5. Why Your Debt Level Matters
      6. 12.6. Your Credit Score
      7. 12.7. Auto Loans and Leases
      8. 12.8. Mortgages and Home Equity Loans and Lines of Credit
      9. 12.9. Bankruptcy
      10. 12.10. Your Bottom Line
    4. 13. Living Longer and Stronger:THE NEW RETIREMENT
      1. 13.1. Your Ideal Retirement
      2. 13.2. The Cost of Inflation
      3. 13.3. The Messages You've Received about Retirement
      4. 13.4. Achieving Your Goals
      5. 13.5. Where to Save for Retirement
        1. 13.5.1. Roth 401(k)
        2. 13.5.2. Retirement Plans When You Are Self-Employed, Have Income from a Second Job, or Do Not Have a Plan at Work
          1. 13.5.2.1. Simplified Employee Pensions.
          2. 13.5.2.2. Keoghs.
          3. 13.5.2.3. Solo 401(k)s.
          4. 13.5.2.4. If You Are an Employer.
          5. 13.5.2.5. Roth IRAs.
      6. 13.6. Other Things to Consider in Your Retirement Planning
        1. 13.6.1. Using Real Estate to Fund Your Retirement
          1. 13.6.1.1. Reverse Mortgages.
        2. 13.6.2. Wellness
        3. 13.6.3. The Sandwich Generation
          1. 13.6.3.1. Love Your Parents.
          2. 13.6.3.2. Love Your Children.
      7. 13.7. Your Bottom Line
    5. 14. Covering Your Assets:HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT INSURANCE
      1. 14.1. Insurance You Should Have
      2. 14.2. Insurance that Depends on Your Situation and Priorities
      3. 14.3. Money Scripts and Insurance
      4. 14.4. The Right Insurance for You
        1. 14.4.1. Health Insurance
          1. 14.4.1.1. Comparing Health Insurance Policies.
        2. 14.4.2. Dental Insurance
        3. 14.4.3. Retiree Health Insurance
        4. 14.4.4. Disability Insurance
          1. 14.4.4.1. Short-Term Disability.
          2. 14.4.4.2. Long-Term Disability.
            1. 14.4.4.2.1. Social Security Disability (www.ssa.gov/disability/).
          3. 14.4.4.3. Other Forms of Disability Compensation.
        5. 14.4.5. Long-Term Care Insurance
          1. 14.4.5.1. Long-Term Care Policy Checklist.
        6. 14.4.6. Life Insurance
          1. 14.4.6.1. Types of Life Insurance.
          2. 14.4.6.2. Term Life Insurance Web Sites.
        7. 14.4.7. Accidental Death and Dismemberment Insurance
        8. 14.4.8. Property and Casualty Insurance
      5. 14.5. General Information on Insurance Companies
        1. 14.5.1. Understanding Insurance Jargon
        2. 14.5.2. Keeping Insurance Costs Low
      6. 14.6. Your Bottom Line
    6. 15. Investing for Your Future
      1. 15.1. It's Not Rocket Science
      2. 15.2. Time Horizon
      3. 15.3. Risk
      4. 15.4. Your Scripts about Investing
      5. 15.5. Types of Investments
        1. 15.5.1. Stocks
        2. 15.5.2. Bonds
        3. 15.5.3. Cash
      6. 15.6. Performance
      7. 15.7. Other Investments
        1. 15.7.1. That's All Very Interesting, but What Do I Do?
        2. 15.7.2. Exchange-Traded Funds
        3. 15.7.3. Active versus Passive (Index) Management
        4. 15.7.4. What If I Just Don't Want to Think about This?
      8. 15.8. Your Bottom Line
    7. 16. The Real Cost of College
      1. 16.1. Life without Harvard
      2. 16.2. The Numbers
      3. 16.3. The Inside Story
      4. 16.4. Financial Aid
        1. 16.4.1. Applying for Financial Aid
      5. 16.5. Scholarships
        1. 16.5.1. Grants
          1. 16.5.1.1. Military Service.
          2. 16.5.1.2. State Grants.
          3. 16.5.1.3. Sallie Mae.
        2. 16.5.2. Scholarships for Community Service
        3. 16.5.3. Work-Study
        4. 16.5.4. Cooperative Education
        5. 16.5.5. Working for the Government
      6. 16.6. Where to Save
        1. 16.6.1. 529 Plans
        2. 16.6.2. Roth IRA
        3. 16.6.3. Coverdell Education Savings Accounts
        4. 16.6.4. Custodial Accounts
        5. 16.6.5. Series EE and I Bonds
        6. 16.6.6. Hope and Lifetime Learning Credits
          1. 16.6.6.1. Hope Credit
          2. 16.6.6.2. Lifetime Learning Credit
        7. 16.6.7. Loans
      7. 16.7. Save for Your Own Retirement First
      8. 16.8. Your Bottom Line
    8. 17. Giving Back
      1. 17.1. You Reap What You Sow
      2. 17.2. Your Scripts about Philanthropy
      3. 17.3. Your Charitable Goals
        1. 17.3.1. How to Give
        2. 17.3.2. Giving Time
        3. 17.3.3. Giving Things
        4. 17.3.4. Real Purchasing Power
      4. 17.4. Raising Your Social Consciousness
      5. 17.5. Lending Money Charitably
      6. 17.6. Community Foundations
      7. 17.7. Giving Circles
      8. 17.8. Donor-Advised Funds
      9. 17.9. Charitable Trusts
        1. 17.9.1. Charitable Remainder Trust
        2. 17.9.2. Charitable Lead Trust
      10. 17.10. Making Every Dollar Count
        1. 17.10.1. GuideStar
        2. 17.10.2. Better Business Bureau Wise Giving Alliance
        3. 17.10.3. Charity Navigator
      11. 17.11. Giving and Taxes
      12. 17.12. Your Bottom Line
    9. 18. Estate Planning
      1. 18.1. The Messages You've Received about Estate Planning
      2. 18.2. The Basics of Estate Planning
        1. 18.2.1. One Thing that Confuses Everybody
        2. 18.2.2. You Need a Will
          1. 18.2.2.1. Name Guardians for Minor Children in Your Will.
          2. 18.2.2.2. Make Sure Your Beneficiary Designations Are Up-to-Date.
        3. 18.2.3. Other Things to Consider
          1. 18.2.3.1. Powers of Attorney
          2. 18.2.3.2. Planning Your Medical Care and Treatment—Advance Directives.
          3. 18.2.3.3. Trusts.
        4. 18.2.4. Taxes
        5. 18.2.5. Finding a Trusts and Estates Attorney
      3. 18.3. Your Bottom Line
    10. 19. A Final Thought on Your Finances
  6. III. STAYING ON COURSE
    1. 20. Staying on Course
      1. 20.1. The Honeymoon's Over
      2. 20.2. Will Power
      3. 20.3. Creating a Climate for Change
      4. 20.4. Helping Yourself in Your Day-to-Day Life
      5. 20.5. Body Reading
    2. 21. Change Happens
      1. 21.1. An Extra Set of Eyes
    3. 22. Getting the Help You Need
      1. 22.1. Mindful Money Management Is Catching On
      2. 22.2. Finding the Right Help
        1. 22.2.1. Where to Find a Planner
        2. 22.2.2. Costs
      3. 22.3. A Helping Relationship
  7. A Final Thought