RULE TO BREAK
“Feelings should be rational”
I can remember saying as a child that I was upset, or angry, or disappointed, or hurt. Often I would be told, ‘That doesn’t make sense …’, followed by an explanation of why my feelings weren’t rational and therefore – by implication – weren’t valid. Maybe it ‘made no sense’ to be hurt by what someone said when they hadn’t meant it that way, or it wasn’t ‘logical’ to be angry when a situation was of my own making.
If anyone has ever told you anything like this, I can reassure you now that they are wrong. Your feelings are what they are. Right and wrong don’t come into it. That’s what makes them feelings and not thoughts. Rational thought is right or wrong, logical argument is right or wrong, but feelings ...
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