RULE 34

Houston, we have a problem

How often do you hear one partner expressing a problem and the other one saying, ‘It’s nothing to do with me.’ I’ve known people tell their partner, in all seriousness, ‘Your jealousy/anger/stress is your problem.’ I’ve know people go to their partner and say, ‘I’m not happy about the hours you’re working/the place we’re living/the diet we’re eating/the way you pick your toenails in bed,’ only to be told, ‘Well, I don’t have a problem with it.’

Oh yes they do. By definition, if your partner isn’t happy, you’ve got a problem. It’s a shared problem and it requires two of you to address it and resolve it jointly. That’s why we use the word ‘partner’,* because you’re both in this together.

This is an attitude ...

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