RULE 89

Don’t use your kids as ammunition

This applies chiefly to parents going through a divorce, of course, but it’s a trap you can also fall into if there’s a strain on your relationship during other kinds of crisis. When your emotions are heightened, they all tend to be heightened. So whether you’re deeply upset, desperately worried, seriously depressed or unbearably sad, it’s likely that any time you feel angry you will feel almost uncontrollably angry. That might be all the time or only some of the time, but when you feel angry you feel compelled to call on every argument or tactic you possibly can.

Unfortunately, one of the strongest tactics you can use is to play on your partner’s (or ex-partner’s) love for their kids. Your kids. You ...

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