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The Rules of Parenting, 3rd Edition

Book Description


Over 32,000 copies sold.
The golden principles and behaviours to guide you smoothly through the challenges of raising children.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title page
  3. Contents
  4. Dedication
  5. Introduction
  6. Rules for staying sane
    1. 1 Relax
    2. 2 No one is perfect
    3. 3 Be content
    4. 4 Know what you’re good at
    5. 5 Almost any rule can be broken occasionally
    6. 6 Don’t try to do everything
    7. 7 You don’t have to follow every piece of advice you get (including this one)
    8. 8 It’s normal to want to escape
    9. 9 You’re allowed to hide from your kids
    10. 10 Parents are people too
    11. 11 Don’t ignore your relationship with your partner
  7. Attitude Rules
    1. 12 Love is not enough
    2. 13 Every recipe needs different ingredients
    3. 14 Anything extreme is almost certainly wrong
    4. 15 Look pleased to see them
    5. 16 Treat your child with respect
    6. 17 Enjoy their company
    7. 18 It’s not about you – it’s about them
    8. 19 Being tidy isn’t as important as you think
    9. 20 Good parenting is calculated risk taking
    10. 21 Keep your worries to yourself
    11. 22 See things from their point of view
    12. 23 Parenting is not a competitive sport
    13. 24 Never emotionally blackmail them
  8. Everyday Rules
    1. 25 Let them get on with it
    2. 26 Let them go (wild)
    3. 27 Teach them to think for themselves
    4. 28 Use praise wisely
    5. 29 Make sure they know what’s important
    6. 30 Show them how to lose
    7. 31 Know the value of boundaries
    8. 32 Bribery doesn’t have to be bad
    9. 33 Moods are catching
    10. 34 You’re setting their eating patterns for life
    11. 35 Communicate
    12. 36 Set clear targets
    13. 37 Don’t be a nag
  9. Discipline Rules
    1. 38 Present a united front
    2. 39 Carrots beat sticks
    3. 40 Be consistent
    4. 41 Lighten up
    5. 42 Focus on the problem, not the person
    6. 43 Don’t paint yourself into a corner
    7. 44 If you lose your temper, you’re the loser
    8. 45 Apologize if you get it wrong
    9. 46 Let them back in
    10. 47 The right of expression
  10. Personality Rules
    1. 48 Find what incentives work for your child
    2. 49 Every child should have something they know they’re good at
    3. 50 Learn to appreciate the qualities that remind you of someone else
    4. 51 Look for the similarities between you
    5. 52 Find qualities to admire in them
    6. 53 Let them be better than you
    7. 54 Their attitude is as important as their achievements
    8. 55 Keep your fears and insecurities to yourself
    9. 56 Mind your programming
    10. 57 Don’t try to have a perfect child
  11. Sibling Rules
    1. 58 Give them each other
    2. 59 Recognize that squabbling is healthy (within reason)
    3. 60 Teach them to sort out their own arguments
    4. 61 Work as a team
    5. 62 Let them entertain each other
    6. 63 Never compare children with each other
    7. 64 Different children need different rules
    8. 65 Don’t have a favourite
    9. 66 Mix and match
    10. 67 Find each child’s strengths
  12. School Rules
    1. 68 Schooling isn’t the same as education
    2. 69 School comes as a package
    3. 70 Fight your child’s corner
    4. 71 Bullying is always serious
    5. 72 Teach them to stand up for themselves
    6. 73 Put up with friends of theirs you don’t like
    7. 74 Remember you’re their parent, not their teacher
    8. 75 Don’t mollycoddle them
    9. 76 Let up the pressure
    10. 77 They have to live with their choices (and it’s OK)
  13. Teenage Rules
    1. 78 Don’t panic
    2. 79 Remember Newton’s Third Law
    3. 80 Give them a voice
    4. 81 Don’t look under the mattress
    5. 82 Running round after them doesn’t help anybody
    6. 83 Don’t stand in front of a speeding train
    7. 84 Yelling isn’t the answer
    8. 85 Let them have the last word
    9. 86 Everything comes with strings
    10. 87 Show some respect for the things they care about
    11. 88 Adopt a healthy attitude to sex
  14. Crisis Rules
    1. 89 Don’t use your kids as ammunition
    2. 90 Let them cope in their own way
    3. 91 Being younger doesn’t necessarily speed everything up
    4. 92 The aftershock can last forever
    5. 93 Tell them what’s going on
    6. 94 Teach them to fail successfully
    7. 95 It’s better to agree than to be right
    8. 96 All of your actions speak louder than any of your words
    9. 97 Make sure they know they’re priority no. 1
    10. 98 You can’t fix everything
  15. Grown-up Rules
    1. 99 Back off
    2. 100 Wait until they ask for advice
    3. 101 Treat them as adults
    4. 102 Don’t try to be their best friend
    5. 103 Encourage them regardless
    6. 104 You can’t choose who your children love
    7. 105 Leave the strings off
    8. 106 Don’t guilt-trip them
    9. 107 Remember they still need you
    10. 108 It’s not your fault
    11. 109 Once a parent, always a parent
  16. Rules about your parents
    1. 1 Don’t put them on a pedestal
    2. 2 Let them be grandparents
    3. 3 Don’t ask too much of them
    4. 4 Don’t guilt-trip them – even by mistake
    5. 5 Learn to share
    6. 6 They’re new to this too
    7. 7 Understand that they don’t come from the same place as you
    8. 8 Any grandparent is better than no grandparent
    9. 9 Don’t bad-mouth them in front of the kids
    10. 10 They love you just like you love your kids
  17. Had enough yet …?
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