RULE 39

If you can say something nice, do

Here’s a common conversation between partners who have been together for a while:

‘You never tell me I look nice any more.’ ‘Well, you know you do. It should be obvious.’

There are variations on this theme, of course, it doesn’t have to be about looks, but I’ve noticed that’s one of the most common versions of the conversation. The other frequent version is, ‘You never/hardly ever tell me you love me’ (and then the same response).

Look, we all need reassurance and encouragement. We’re human, and that’s how we work. Everyone likes to be told when they’re doing well. That’s why they have prize-giving at school, even though the kids already know who came top in the exam. It’s why they hold ceremonies ...

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