The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work

Chapter 13. Three No Complaining Tools

1. The But→ ___ Positive Technique. This simple strategy helps you turn your complaints into positive thoughts, solutions, and actions. It works like this. When you realize you are complaining, you simply add the word but and then add a positive thought or positive action. Example:

   • I don't like driving to work for an hour but I'm thankful I can drive and that I have a job.

   • I don't like that I'm out of shape but I love feeling great so I'm going to focus on exercising and eating right.

2. Focus on "Get To" instead of "Have To." Too often we complain and focus on what we have to do. We say things like "I have to go to work." "I have to drive here." "I have to do this or that." Instead, shift your perspective and realize it's not about having to do anything. You get to do things. You get to live this life. You get to go to work while so many are unemployed. You get to drive in traffic while so many don't even have a car or are too sick to travel. Focus on what you get to do. Focus on feeling blessed instead of stressed. Focus on gratitude.

3. Turn Complaints into Solutions. The goal is not to eliminate all complaining. The intent is to eliminate the kind of mindless complaining that doesn't serve a greater purpose and allow complaining that is justified and worthwhile. The opposite of mindless complaining is justified complaining. The former is negative and ...