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The Handbook of Knowledge-Based Coaching: FROM THEORY TO PRACTICE by Diane Brennan, Leni Wildflower

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JUSTIFYING OUR SCRIPT: GAMES

Games in TA terms are repetitive patterns of behavior in which you and the other person end up feeling equally bad. A game is a psychological exchange played according to predetermined rules at an unconscious level. Games are about negative feelings, and they end with both parties blaming each other. By definition, a game never resolves the discomfort of the underlying feelings but allows us to luxuriate in anger, self-righteousness, or self-pity. Games allow us to further our life script without any inconvenient interruption from perspective or reality. We get a payoff: pompous anger, the drama and excitement of the fight. We save up grudges to use next time. Games create pseudo-intimacy and in the short term may ...

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