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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reading Body Language

Book Description

Using both photos and line art, The Complete Idiot's Guide® to Reading Body Language reveals and explains the visual tells to be found in faces, eyes, and lips; the positions of hands, arms, and legs; stances; gestures; the uses of everyday objects; and more. Additionally, strategies to elicit body language are detailed as well.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Introduction
  7. Part 1: Silent Messages
    1. 1 Body Language Basics
      1. No Smoking Gun
      2. Myths and Truths
      3. Don’t Make Assumptions
        1. Getting an Accurate Read
        2. How Clues Are Missed
      4. Basic Training: Five Steps to Reading People
        1. Step 1—Building Rapport
        2. Step 2—Mirroring
        3. Step 3—Norming
        4. Step 4—Baselining
        5. Step 5—Comparing and Contrasting Behaviors
      5. Field Exercise: A Client Meeting
    2. 2 First Impressions
      1. Snap Judgments
      2. Ten Quick Fixes for Great First Impressions
        1. Quick Fix #1—Personal Assessment
        2. Quick Fix #2—The Handshake
        3. Quick Fix #3—Eye Contact
        4. Quick Fix #4—The Head Tilt
        5. Quick Fix #5—Head Nods
        6. Quick Fix #6—The Smile
        7. Quick Fix #7—Great Teeth
        8. Quick Fix #8—Walking Style
        9. Quick Fix #9—Posture
        10. Quick Fix #10—Open Gestures
    3. 3 Perception Is Reality
      1. We, the Jury
      2. Case Clothed
        1. Clothes Audit
        2. Ten Clothing Must-Haves for Women
        3. Ten Clothing Must-Haves for Men
      3. Sole Searching
      4. Looks Do Matter
        1. Hairstyle
        2. Facial Hair
        3. Tattoos
        4. Piercings
      5. Interesting Facts About Appearance
      6. Color Psychology
    4. 4 Face Time
      1. The Seven Universal Facial Expressions of Emotions
        1. Can You Read Faces?
        2. Some Reactions Are Predictable
      2. Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
      3. Faces Reveal Competency
      4. Tricks of the Trade
        1. The Eyebrow Flash
        2. The Head Tilt and Nod
        3. The Lip Pump
      5. Real Smile, or Crocodile?
        1. The Smirk
        2. The Smug
      6. Raising Your Eye-Q
        1. Revealing Pupils
        2. The Eye Pull
        3. Avoidance
      7. Field Trip
        1. When Claudia Met Paul
        2. Overwhelmed with Joy
        3. Power Play
      8. Even a Nonexpression Is an Expression
    5. 5 How People Learn and Communicate
      1. Styles of Learning
      2. How to Read Learning Styles Through Body Language
        1. Visual Body Language
        2. Auditory Body Language
        3. Kinesthetic Body Language
      3. What Style Are You?
        1. Visual
        2. Auditory
        3. Kinesthetic
      4. Apply What You’ve Learned
        1. Take 1
        2. Take 2
        3. Take 3
      5. Reading Key Phrases
      6. Effective Communication
  8. Part 2: Body Talk
    1. 6 See What You’ve Been Missing
      1. Eye Witness
      2. NLP
      3. Sensory or Representation Systems
        1. Look Here
        2. Eyes on the Prize
        3. No Eye Movement
      4. What’s Your Style?
      5. Building Your Eye Reading Skills
        1. The Big Chill
        2. Total Recall
        3. Mixed Blessing
        4. Risky Business
      6. Lyin’ Eyes
    2. 7 Cultural Gestures
      1. Illustrators and Emblems
        1. Australia
        2. Belgium
        3. Cambodia
        4. China
        5. Chile
        6. East Africa
        7. India
        8. Italy
        9. Peru
      2. A Few More
      3. Top Five Most Misunderstood Hand Gestures
    3. 8 Illustrative Gestures
      1. Illustrating Your Point
        1. Regulators
        2. Metaphors
        3. Icons
        4. Affectation
      2. Putting Gestures to Work
        1. Persuasion
        2. Cooperation
        3. Motivation
        4. Inspiration
        5. Compassion
        6. Authority
        7. Visualization
        8. Punctuation
      3. What Gestures Say About You
        1. The Hammerhead
        2. Blame Game
        3. The Put Down
        4. Backward Wrist Slap
        5. The Limp Wrist
      4. Do’s and Don’ts of Gestures
    4. 9 Display of Emotions
      1. Central Casting
      2. What’s My Motivation?
        1. Confidence
        2. Low Self-Esteem
        3. Arrogance
        4. Deception
        5. Flirtation
        6. Anger
        7. Nervousness/Anxiety
        8. Depression
        9. Self-Doubt
        10. Listen to Me!
        11. Critical
        12. Power Play
        13. Appreciation
      3. Crossed Arms: The All-Purpose Gesture
    5. 10 Best Foot Forward
      1. Exit, Stage Left
      2. Enter, Stage (F)right
      3. Foot Rapport
      4. Rocking It
      5. Tenuous and Solid Ground
      6. The Ankle Cross
      7. Foot Flirt
      8. Time to Go
      9. Brace Yourself
      10. The Kick Back
      11. It’s Time to Leave
      12. Floor Tap
      13. Reading Feet for an Advantage
  9. Part 3: Deception Detection
    1. 11 Why Kids Lie
      1. Why Do Kids Lie?
      2. Motivation: The What Behind the Why
        1. Fear of Punishment
        2. Personal Gain
        3. Peer Pressure
        4. Protect Themselves from Harm
        5. Protect Others from Harm
        6. Fear of Embarrassment or Shame
        7. Gain Admiration or Attention
      3. White Lies
      4. Trust, but Verify
      5. The Kelly Conundrum
    2. 12 Body of Evidence
      1. Different Kinds of Lies
        1. High-Stakes Lies
        2. Day-to-Day Lies
        3. Self-Deception
        4. Concealment
        5. Partial Truths
      2. Tricks of the Trade
      3. Deceptive Demeanor
        1. Lack of Illustrators
      4. Duping Delight
      5. Documenting Behavior Clues
    3. 13 Lying Styles
      1. Read My Lips
        1. Argumentum ad Ignorantiam
        2. Exaggeration
        3. Argumentum ad Hominem
        4. Pettifoggery
        5. Poisoning the Well
        6. Repeated Assertion
        7. “You Don’t Understand”
        8. Lying by Referral
        9. The Third-Person Gimmick
        10. Loophole Lying
        11. The Nonresponsive Liar
        12. Testing the Waters
      2. Deceptive Truths
        1. Al Beback
        2. Hints
        3. Innuendo
        4. Hyperbole
        5. Euphemism
    4. 14 Voice and Vocabulary
      1. I’m Counting on You
        1. The “I” Word
        2. Other Revealing Words
      2. LIWC and Lying
      3. How You Say It
        1. Inflection
        2. Pace
        3. Lowered Voice
        4. Mumbling
        5. Buying Time
        6. Monotone
        7. Laughing
  10. Part 4: Strictly Business
    1. 15 Body Language for Job Interviews
      1. How to Dazzle a Potential Employer
        1. Do Your Homework
        2. The Waiting Area
        3. Travel Light
        4. Dress Accordingly
        5. Meet and Greet
        6. Entering the Interview
        7. Hand Placement
        8. Level Eyes
        9. Saving Face
        10. Frame It
        11. Nod Your Head
        12. Use Color
      2. Signs Your Interview Is Headed South
        1. Leaning Back
        2. Checking the Time
        3. A Critical Eye
        4. Body Angles
        5. The Blank Stare
        6. You’re Out
      3. Signs the Interview Is Going Well
    2. 16 Body Language of Leaders
      1. Suggestology
      2. Making a Persuasive Presentation
        1. Step 1: Welcome
        2. Step 2: Introductions
        3. Step 3: Participation Prompts
        4. Step 4: Spatial Anchoring—The Bad News
        5. Step 5: Spatial Anchoring—The Good News
        6. Step 6: Center Stage
        7. Step 7: The Close
    3. 17 Negotiation Signals
      1. The Trump Card
        1. Tap Dancing
        2. Rocking
        3. Rubbing Hands Together
        4. Grooming Gestures
        5. Karate Chop
        6. Finger Pointing
        7. Face Scratching
        8. Pupil Dilation
        9. Ring Around the Collar
        10. Flared Nostrils
        11. Wedding Ring Twist
        12. Squirming
        13. Leaning Away
        14. Reserving Judgment
        15. Critical Thinking
        16. Chin Stroking
        17. Steeple
        18. Closed Hand Gestures
      2. What Am I Thinking?
      3. Gaining Cooperation
        1. Seating Arrangements
        2. Conflict Resolution
        3. Using Minimal Encouragers
      4. Putting It All Together
    4. 18 The Language of Attraction
      1. Open Your Eyes
        1. Attractor Factor
        2. Eye Gazing
      2. Do This
        1. Show Your Vulnerable Side
        2. Use Your Hair
        3. Peekaboo
        4. Dangle Your Shoe
        5. Stand Tall
        6. Lick Your Lips
        7. Glance Over Your Shoulder
        8. Embrace Your Curves
        9. Remain Mysterious
      3. Don’t Do This
        1. Wandering Eyes
        2. Back Pats
        3. Last-Minute Invitations
        4. Shifty Eyes
        5. Cell Phone Fascination
        6. Cold Shoulder
        7. Too Much Too Soon
      4. Reading Your Date
  11. Appendixes
    1. A References
    2. B Answers
  12. Index
  13. Dear Reader
  14. About the Author