The Bully-Free Workplace: Stop Jerks, Weasels, and Snakes From Killing Your Organization

Biology and Early Life Experiences

For starters, consider the brain of a hyperaggressive bully. He or she may have a too tiny prefrontal cortex to enable her or him to control impulses. This makes the person quick to become angry and quick to bully. However, unless you're prepared to lobotomize these people, it's just a fun fact to know with no action possible on your part.

Another explanation for a certain proportion of bullies is that they were abused in their families of origin. They grew up either witnessing domestic violence or being the personal target of abuse or violence by a parent or relative. From that chaotic, messed up way of dealing with personal conflict and differences comes a very distorted adult perspective on how to deal with life. Of course, not everyone who is abused becomes an abuser. Not everyone repeats the cycle of violence. And even though abuse is a legitimate basis for some people's aggression, there's nothing you can do as a manager or leader about reengineering someone's past. History is history.

What does make sense is that schoolyard bullies become adult bullies in the workplace. Without a doubt, after 20 to 30 years of successfully intimidating and pushing around other people, by using humiliation as an interpersonal way of interacting, it will be very difficult, if not impossible, to stop an adult who's been reinforced for such conduct since grade school. Those people have no trouble looking you in the eye and calling you a loser, because their ...