19. Failure: What happens when it all falls apart?
Oh, those fools.
Listen, don’t buy a refrigerator. Because once you get one you’ll start buying perishable items. And before you know it, your refrigerator will be broken, and you’ll have a bunch of spoiled, awful-smelling meat on your hands. Refrigerators don’t last forever, so don’t be foolish.
Don’t start taking showers, either. You’ll start getting used to having one in your daily routine, and one day if your water stops running, well, you’ll have this terrible habit that relied on running water and you won’t remember how to clean yourself in a good old-fashioned tub. No one needs to clean with a fire hose above his or her head.
Lightbulbs? Ha! Use candles, because if you rely on the government’s ...
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