Lesson #37

If You Negotiate with Yourself, You Have a Fool for an Opponent

During my career I have been the primary negotiator on thousands of transactions—from store leases to vendor contracts to major acquisitions and just about everything in between. A deal is much like a love story. At the beginning, both parties have great expectations; in the middle, everybody reaches the frustration point; and then there is a happy ending—boy gets girl, or, in a business deal, handshakes and high-fives abound.

The best deals are when both sides feel they won, and that they outsmarted, outmaneuvered, or got the better of the other guy. This is basically human nature, as there seems to be an insatiable need deep down inside to secretly believe that although it's called a win–win deal, your side prevailed at the expense of the other camp.

And just as a boxer trains for a big fight, there are specific steps that I take before ever sitting down at the negotiation table.

I first undertake a cerebral process in which I complete something that I call a deal inventory by asking myself the following questions: “Do I really want to do this thing?” “Am I sure that whatever I'm trying to negotiate adds value and it is not just about winning?” And before I even start, I identify the point at which I am prepared to say, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and walk away.

Make no mistake about it—there are many theatrics in the negotiating process. Some people like to play the tough guy, others the country bumpkin, ...

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