The Art of Persuasion (Collection)

Chapter 19. How to be a good winner

“OK, you’re absolutely right. I now see how wrong I was.” For some arguers, to hear their opponent say this is the holy grail. They might feel the aim of an argument should be total defeat of the opponent and a grovelling acceptance of their brilliance. But that is rarely realistic or desirable. We talked about how to lose gracefully but positively in Golden Rule 10. It’s also important to know how to be a good winner.

Getting it wrong

Viv:      “So, if you look at all that evidence you can see I’m right.”

Tom:    “Well, I can see what you mean.”

Viv:      “Come on Tom, you must now accept I’m right.”

Tom:    “Well, I suppose so.”

Viv:      “I want to hear you say, ‘You are right, Viv.’”

Tom:    “Viv, you’re ...