Don’t Respond to Tactical Anger

OK, everything I just said about dealing with anger—forget it. At least when the anger you’re dealing with isn’t justified. Some people use anger to manipulate, threaten, bully, intimidate, or bludgeon you into doing what they want. This is completely different from justified anger and needs a totally different response. This is toddler-tantrum world, and should be dealt with just as you’d deal with a toddler.8

In case you don’t have children I’ll explain the technique (and possibly put you off ever having kids). First you tell them, calmly, that you’re not prepared to be shouted at/spoken to like this/abused/bullied/intimidated (delete as applicable), and tell them you’ll leave if they don’t calm down. Then you ...

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