12.6. Models, questions, and conflicts

The golden rule—do unto others as you would have them do unto you—applies to managers. No decree from leaders is ever followed as well as the ones they follow themselves. Human beings are social creatures, and we learn behavior throughout our lives, predominantly on models from others. We often learn best by seeing someone we respect or admire do something, and then try, consciously or subconsciously, to emulate that behavior. As a matter of trust, it's up to leaders of projects to demonstrate the behavior they ask for or desire in the people they work with. Michael Jordan, among his other qualities, developed a reputation for an intense work ethic. Even though he was the highest-paid and most well-known basketball player in the NBA, there were few who worked as hard as he did. This eliminated any possibility of lesser players asking to sit out of practice, or to spend less time in the gym. The leader set a model, which others would need to follow.

Work ethic aside, the golden rule for leaders is that they trust their own judgment enough to follow the same rules as everyone else (see "Trust in yourself (self-reliance)," later in this chapter). Doing this means allowing others, peers or subordinates, to question or challenge the leader's judgment or behavior. If someone has been granted power, there needs to be some kind of feedback loop for challenging it (i.e., who is permitted to say the emperor has no clothes?). Good leaders trust their ...

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