Talk Less, Say More: Three Habits to Influence Others and Make Things Happen

Part I. 10 SIGNS YOU MAY BE A WEAK CONNECTOR

Do You Do This?

• 1 You have trouble getting people to listen to you, pay attention to your ideas, or return phone calls or e-mails.

  ISSUE: CONNECTING ESSENTIALS

  FIND HELP: page 11

• 2 You're impatient, easily distracted, or often multitask while communicating.

  Are You a Weak Connector?

  ISSUE: STAY IN THEIR MOMENT—STAY RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

  FIND HELP: page 19

• 3 You don't listen well, interrupt frequently, dominate discussions, or start most conversations with what matters most to you.

  ISSUE: STAY IN THEIR MOMENT—LISTEN FOR INTENT

  FIND HELP: page 21

• 4 You're preoccupied with how others may be judging you.

  ISSUE: STAY IN THEIR MOMENT—AVOID CODE RED

  FIND HELP: page 23

• 5 You frequently ramble, take too long to get to the point, or have been told that you're dull or boring.

  ISSUE: FRONTLOAD—NAIL THE BIG IDEA

  FIND HELP: page 31

• 6 You automatically use the same method of communication to reach everyone—the method that you prefer.

  ISSUE: FRONTLOAD—CHOOSE THEIR PREFERRED METHOD OF COMMUNICATION (PMOC)

  FIND HELP: page 34

• 7 You're not good at reading people's body language, or you have trouble reading between the lines of what they say.

  ISSUE: FRONTLOAD—DEFUSE DEFENSIVENESS

  FIND HELP: page 37

• 8 You're often judgmental or critical of others in public.

  ISSUE: GOLDILOCKS CANDOR—DON'T DEMORALIZE

  FIND HELP: page 47

• 9 You sugarcoat, sidestep, or hold back to avoid conflict or criticism.

  ISSUE: GOLDILOCKS CANDOR—DON'T SUGARCOAT

  FIND HELP: page 49

• 10 People don't share ...