Spread Trading: An Introduction to Trading Options in Nine Simple Steps

Acknowledgments

They told me I have to do this acknowledgments page. It’s for thanking people “without whom this book could not have been written.” (“Without whom”? Who talks like that?) Apparently, I’m supposed to thank a bunch of people who aren’t even the author.

Like my colleagues at Spread Trade Systems. Yeah, right. The only things I ever heard from them about this book were, “No, you can’t file a personal injury claim for writer’s cramp.” For this they deserve thanks?

I’m also (at least judging by other books) supposed to thank my wife for something like “endless support and patience.” But other than to threaten me every once in awhile, Heather didn’t lift a finger. I didn’t talk to her much about the book anyway because I’m in trouble with her. She says I never listen to what she says (or something like that—I don’t remember). So, sorry Heather; no thanks for you.

There’s also a rumor going around about a guy named Duane Boyce, who supposedly helped me out by doing little jobs like making the book something that could actually be read. Some people seem to think he deserves some “credit.” And Mrs. Kimberly White—who seemed like such a nice, amusing girl until we started talking about acknowledgments—I know she helped rewrite some parts, but, hey, she already got her thanks: she actually gets paid for what she does as an editor. It’s either acknowledgments or money, people.

Okay, so I stole jokes from Dave Barry, James Gordon (a law professor, no less), Joe Glenn, and George ...