Software for Your Head

ANTIPATTERN: NO HURT FEELINGS

PROBLEM

You don't want to hurt the feelings of your teammates, so you fail to add the value you have to the team's product.

One challenge of being fully engaged is that some situations require you to articulate perceptions that may cause discomfort in others. Most people don't want to promote emotional distress. Typically, they prefer that the people around them refrain from showing strong emotions, regardless of the reason. People go to great lengths to avoid saying or doing things that may “hurt someone's feelings” or cause someone to be angry or upset.

SUPPOSED SOLUTION

If you can't find a way to tell a truth or perform an act of leadership that doesn't upset people, don't do it.

You can't really “cause” or ...