Not often does someone other than a professional negotiator think about what is driving the other negotiator, because we all tend to assume that what drives the other person is the same thing that drives us. Sociologists call this “socio-centrism.” This means we think that the other person wants what we would want, if we were they.
Power Negotiators know that what we would want, if we were them, may have nothing to do with what they want. Power Negotiators know that the better we can understand what is driving the other side—what they really want to accomplish—the better we can fulfill their needs without taking away from our position. Poor negotiators get into trouble because they fear that they will be vulnerable ...