You are previewing Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition.
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Same Words, Different Language: A Proven Guide for Creating Gender Intelligence at Work, Third Edition

Book Description

Barbara Annis, the world's leading corporate gender specialist, believes that men and women don't understand each other because they don't appreciate the different ways men and women relate, communicate, problem-solve, and make decisions. In this original, solutions-based book, Annis explains exactly where we differ and how to improve the way we communicate with one another. Learn of cutting-edge, scientific research into the different neurological frameworks and functions of the male and female brains and how these innate biological differences determine how we: View the world; Solve problems; Make decisions; Prioritize; Manage emotions; Deal with stress; Work in teams; and Lead.

Table of Contents

  1. About This E-Book
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Praise for Same Words, Different Language
  5. Dedication Page
  6. Contents at Glance
  7. Contents
  8. Acknowledgments
  9. About the Author
  10. Introduction
  11. 1. It’s Time to Change the Water We Swim In
    1. The Women’s Side of the Story
    2. The Lights Start Going On
    3. The Fish Aquarium
    4. Traditional and New Business Models
      1. The Traditional Business Model
      2. The New Business Model
    5. Everyone’s Problem
    6. The Solution? Fresh Water
  12. 2. How Gender Intelligent Are You?
    1. Men’s Stages of Awareness
      1. Questionnaire for Men
      2. Stage One—Denial
      3. Stage Two—Recognition/Awareness
      4. Stage Three—Confusion/Frustration
      5. Stage Four—Partnership/Congruence
    2. Women’s Stages of Awareness
      1. Questionnaire for Women
      2. Stage One—Denial/Unawareness
      3. Stage Two—Recognition/Awareness
      4. Stage Three—Confusion/Frustration
      5. Stage Four—Partnership/Congruence
  13. 3. The Science of Gender Difference
    1. Tendencies, Not Absolutes
    2. Women and Men Have Different Brains
    3. What’s the Difference?
    4. A Ride on the Hippocampus
    5. Problem Solving, Decision Making, and the Prefrontal Cortex
    6. Feelings
    7. Reading Feelings
    8. We Deal with Stress Differently
    9. Teamwork: Collaborators or Competitors—or Both?
    10. Not Better, Not Worse, Just Different
  14. 4. Attention, Women: How Men See You—and How They Feel About It
    1. Men’s Top Five Challenges Working with Women
    2. Challenge 1—Men Believe They Have to Be Careful
      1. Women’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Women
      3. The Insight for Men
    3. Challenge 2—Men Feel Confused
      1. Women’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Women
      3. The Insight for Men
    4. Challenge 3—Men Fear Being Accused of Harassment
      1. Women’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Women
      3. The Insight for Men
    5. Challenge 4—Men Perceive Overt Focus on Women
      1. Women’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Women
      3. The Insight for Men
    6. Challenge 5—Men Feel Blamed
      1. Women’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Women
      3. The Insight for Men
  15. 5. The Word to Men: “Attention Must Be Paid” to Your Women Colleagues
    1. Women’s Top Five Challenges Working with Men
    2. Challenge 1—Women Feel Dismissed
      1. Men’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Men
      3. The Insight for Women
    3. Challenge 2—Women Feel Excluded
      1. Men’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Men
      3. The Insight for Women
    4. Challenge 3—Women Feel Tested
      1. Men’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Men
      3. The Insight for Women
    5. Challenge 4—Aping the Clichés of Alpha-Male Behavior
      1. Men’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Men
      3. The Insight for Women
    6. Challenge 5—Women Feel Like Tokens
      1. Men’s Reaction
      2. The Insight for Men
      3. The Insight for Women
  16. 6. Same Words, Different Language
    1. Language Quiz
      1. How Men and Women Listen
    2. “Yes”
      1. What Men Hear
      2. What Women Hear
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    3. “What Do You Think?”
      1. What Men Hear
      2. What Women Hear
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    4. “Teamwork”
      1. What Men Hear
      2. What Women Hear
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    5. “Tabling an Idea”
      1. What Men Do
      2. What Women Do
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    6. “Arguments”
      1. What Men Hear
      2. What Women Hear
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    7. “Success”
      1. What Men Think Success Means
      2. What Women Think Success Means
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    8. “How to Listen Effectively”
      1. What Men Do
      2. What Women Do
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    9. “The Best Way to Convince Is…”
      1. What Men Hear
      2. What Women Hear
      3. The Misunderstanding
      4. The Solution
    10. Take Responsibility
  17. 7. Perception as Filter: Why Men and Women Live in Different Realities
    1. Men’s and Women’s Sore Toes
    2. Women’s Sore Toe—“Protective Behavior”
      1. Men’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    3. Women’s Sore Toe—Feeling “Excluded”
      1. Men’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    4. Women’s Sore Toe—“Male-Centered Language”
      1. Men’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    5. Women’s Sore Toe—Being Discounted or Discredited
      1. Men’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    6. Women’s Sore Toe—Male Bonding
      1. Men’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    7. Women’s Sore Toe—When Men Are Overly Cautious
      1. Men’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    8. Women’s Perceptual Filters
    9. Men’s Sore Toe—“When Women Don’t Articulate Problems Clearly”
      1. Women’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Women
    10. Men’s Sore Toe—“Women Generalize”
      1. Women’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Women
    11. Men’s Sore Toe—“Women Get Emotional”
      1. Women’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Men
    12. Men’s Sore Toe—“Why Don’t Women Correct Inappropriate Behavior?”
      1. Women’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Women
    13. Men’s Sore Toe—“Women Don’t Get to the Point”
      1. Women’s Filter
      2. The Solution for Women
    14. Take Ownership of Your Filters
  18. 8. Assumptions and Blind Spots
    1. Maya’s Story
      1. Where Was the Blind Spot?
    2. Blind Spots at Home
    3. Blind Spots Are Self-Perpetuating
      1. Breaking the Cycle
    4. Men’s Blind Spots
      1. “You have to be careful with women.”
      2. “Women are more comfortable dealing with women.”
      3. “Women can’t handle tough work or tough clients.”
    5. Women’s Blind Spots
      1. “Men like the status quo.”
      2. “Men are insensitive.”
      3. “Men think they own the leadership role.”
  19. 9. Understanding Our Strengths
    1. Management Styles
      1. The Benefits of Both Approaches
    2. Problem Solving
      1. The Benefits of Both Approaches
    3. Job Interviews
      1. The Benefits of Both Approaches
    4. Performance Evaluations
      1. The Benefits of Combining Approaches
    5. Male and Female Behavior at Meetings
      1. Being Heard
    6. Selling
      1. The Benefits of Combining Approaches
    7. Delegating
      1. The Benefits of Combining Approaches
    8. Negotiation
      1. The Benefits of Combining Approaches
    9. Networking
      1. The Benefits of Combining Approaches
    10. Public Speaking
      1. The Benefits of Combining Approaches
    11. Look to the Other
    12. Be More Inclusive: Start with Giving Promotions
    13. Converting Differences into Strengths
    14. Things Are Changing
  20. 10. Resolving Gender Conflicts
    1. Attacking versus Resolving
    2. So How Can We Resolve Conflicts?
    3. S.A.R.A.
    4. Commit to Short-Term Suffering
    5. The Win-Win Way—Outcome Frame
    6. Team Conflicts
    7. “Ah-hah” Moments
  21. Afterword
  22. Further Reading
  23. Index