You are previewing QR Codes Kill Kittens: How to Alienate Customers, Dishearten Employees, and Drive Your Business into the Ground.
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QR Codes Kill Kittens: How to Alienate Customers, Dishearten Employees, and Drive Your Business into the Ground

Book Description

Easy to digest tips and tools on how not to run a business

Experts are constantly telling us what we need to be doing to improve our businesses. Hundreds of books in the market are filled with advice from these experts. But how can you filter out all of the bad advice, misinformation, and misuse of business tools that is out there? None of us needs another list of what we should be doing. QR Codes Kill Kittens tells you what not to do. Easy to digest, easy to avoid. The book is separated into several sections, and each will include a story related to the topic in addition to tips and explanations on what not to do.

  • Includes real-life examples along with tips and guidance on experts, human resources, marketing/branding, networking (in person and online), public relations, and customer service

  • Written by Scott Stratten, author of UnMarketing and the President of UnMarketing.com, a company that combines efforts in viral, social, and authentic marketing; he has appeared on Mashable.com and CNN.com, and in the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and Fast Company

It doesn't do you any good to do a few things right and a lot of things wrong. Find out what not to do. If reading this book saves just one kitten's life, it's worth it.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Introduction
  5. Chapter 1: They Don't Work
    1. They Missed a Step
    2. Craptcha
    3. Not Working
    4. Anybody Got a Pen?
    5. Invasion of Sanity and Sanitation
    6. I Don't Feel Special
    7. The Door to Digital Success
    8. Twipster
    9. O Canada
    10. Working Hard
    11. Mistaken Mobile Metrics
    12. Caution! Moving Walkway Ends before You Scan the QR Code!
    13. The Unknown Icon
    14. Where QR Codes Belong
    15. E.T., Don't Phone Home
    16. Going Viral Isn't a Science
    17. Pinterest Fail
    18. Phone Call on LAN 2
    19. The Autofollow
    20. Seems Legit
    21. Poor Wendy(s)
    22. Tunnel of QR Love
    23. Spaced Out
    24. A BlackBerry by Any Other Name
    25. Desktop Friendly
    26. What the Truck?
    27. Swipe Away
    28. Poor Baby
    29. Capital Offense
    30. Appealing QR Codes
    31. I Don't Even . . .
    32. Useless Disclaimer
    33. Wait, What?
    34. One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, Scan!
  6. Chapter 2: Nobody Likes Them
    1. Making It Rain
    2. Well, That's One Way to Reply
    3. Putting Your Foot Down on Fonts
    4. Oh, I Know
    5. BCC Is the New ABC
    6. Social SEO
    7. The Secret to Making You're Book or Blog Go Viral
    8. Lead to Nowhere
    9. Never, Ever
    10. Pin the Tail on the Jackasses
    11. Please Prove Your Business Is a Moron
    12. Not So Special
    13. Frequently Futile
    14. Friendly Fire
    15. We Can Change
    16. Views Expressed
    17. e-Moms
    18. The Fashionable Riot
    19. Golden Product Placement
    20. Customer Disservice
    21. Get Off at the Next Stop
    22. Don't Phone in Manners
    23. Can't UnLink
    24. Face Palm
    25. Go Home Phone; You're Drunk
    26. Self-Hatred
    27. Social Slam
    28. Seems Legit
    29. The End of Twitter
    30. All Your Privacy Belongs to Us
    31. Too Much Transparency
    32. A Social Layer
    33. Long Presentation Slide
    34. Exiting Your Brand
    35. Fighting Foodies
    36. At Least They Cleaned the Important Part
    37. Vote for the Most Annoying Person
    38. Looks Like Magazines Do Still Have ROI
    39. Drive-by Articles
  7. Chapter 3: They're Selfish
    1. It's a Bird! It's a Plane!
    2. Nobody Cares about Your Logo
    3. Checking Out
    4. Tell Me What to Say
    5. Not the Time
    6. Camera Shy
    7. It Can Hurt to Ask
    8. Simply Selfish
    9. Children Are Our Future
    10. It's Still Burning
    11. If Pinocchio Had Teeth
    12. Are We Dating?
    13. Gimme Some More
    14. Fashion for Who?
    15. Sub QR
    16. e-Service Extraordinaire
    17. Maybe Their Phone Camera Is Detachable
    18. A Million Reasons to Cry
    19. The Big #Truth
    20. Perspective Is Everything
    21. I'm Not Saying T-Mobile Is Terrible at Twitter, But . . .
    22. Nothing Says Social Like SHOUTING
    23. I'm Pretty Sure This Is . . .
    24. Gap in Judgment
    25. The Most Misleading Man in the World
    26. Opt Out/In
    27. Number One
    28. Twitter Is Not a Megaphone
    29. Can You Hear Me Now?
    30. It's a Trap
    31. You Are the Weakest Link
    32. Don't Trend
    33. You Get What You Pay For
    34. Score!
    35. The Direct Mail Merge Tweet
    36. The iQRony
    37. Automated Authenticity
    38. The QR Matrix
    39. Antisocial Behavior Is the New Social Media
    40. Drawing a Blank
    41. Wait until You See It . . .
  8. Chapter 4: Your Time Is Better Spent Elsewhere
    1. Always Pay Your Web Designer
    2. Who Are They Talking To?
    3. Consider Location
    4. Value Good Employees
    5. Just Say No to Scheduling
    6. Invest in Communication Training
    7. Don't Be an Asshole
    8. Remember to Switch to Your Personal Account
    9. A Message to Fast Food Workers
    10. Remember, Not Everything Is a Marketing Opportunity
    11. Remember, People Are Listening
    12. At Least Her First Name Isn't Richard
    13. Don't Get Caught Flying the Bird
    14. Remember, Youth Is Wasted on the Young
    15. Don't Drive Your Customers to the Brink
    16. All-Caps Ketchup
    17. You Could Stand to Lose a Few Teeth
    18. Remember, Sometimes Private Messages, Go Public
    19. Don't Hire Idiot Employees
    20. The Peak of Creative Stupidity
    21. I Can't Breathe, I'm Laughing So Hard
    22. Stop Scheduling Tweets
    23. Opinions Are Your Brand's Reflection
    24. Less Than Joyful
    25. I'm in the Middle of an Awkward Sandwich
    26. Not So Friendly
    27. We Want “Whatever Your Name Is” Back!
    28. Take Away the Virtual Keys after Firing Someone
    29. Don't Fake an Ovation
    30. The English Swear the Best
    31. Wheel of Misfortune
    32. Remember Your Manners
    33. Psychic Opt Out
    34. Pay Attention to Privacy
    35. Hire Better Employees
    36. Never Forget
    37. Don't Invite Open-Ended Insults
  9. Conclusion