Pure Wisdom

CHAPTER 42

Control

There’s a common self-help notion that we can manipulate or control life. Create our own reality. Make things happen. And, if we don’t, well, we need to try harder. Believe stronger. Feel it more, and so on. But all this advice is misleading.

Make no mistake. It’s healthy to have a sense of control in life. Without it there would be no reason to make plans, set goals and take action. And even if our sense of control is an illusion, it’s a useful one. The trouble is, the ‘you-can-create-your-own-reality’ mantra gives the impression we have total control. When, clearly, we don’t. Remember: life is change and it won’t always change in the direction of our choice.

But still we try to have absolute control. We try to steer ...