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Positive Conflict

Book Description

Conflict is a central theme of our lives. We see the negative consequences of war and violence all around us. Even in the workplace, disputes and arguments cause problems and stifle productivity. But opposition can also be positive. For instance, our muscles become stronger as they encounter resistance. The bonds of our relationships can become stronger as we strive to overcome our differences. Likewise, says author Darby Checketts, businesses and organizations can become stronger as a result of conflict.

Postive Conflict is a book that goes beyond coping with or handling workplace conflict; its premise is that conflict is often an indicator that creative energy is about to be unleashed. There is potentially positive power inside opposition, just as with the fusion of atoms. When opposing ideas are openly explored, a breakthrough in thinking can occur, which can reveal more comprehensive solutions. And the coming together of these once-opposing forces multiplies the potential for success.

If our view of conflict transcends a win-lose mentality, we will see that the flipside of opposition is the opportunity for discovery and innovation. And in business today, we need leaders who can reconcile the seeming exclusivity of competing ideas and fuse them for new and better results. For example, it is the combination of self-confidence and humility that maximizes a leader’s effectiveness.

By reading Postive Conflict, you will:

• Recognize the creative energy inside conflict to unleash the power of opposites.

• Discover why the optimist’s answer to everything is “yes”—that the issue is not what is right or wrong, but how to synthesize ideas to expand problem-solving options.

• Help your stakeholders come together in a spirit of partnership to move beyond special interests and personality clashes.

• Understand that your own conflicting ideas and viewpoints reveal new dimensions of who you are and the range of opportunities that await you.

Darby Checketts is the president of Cornerstone Professional Development of Mesa, Arizona, which he founded in 1985. He is known by his clients as a powerful catalyst for innovation, high performance leadership, and service excellence. He is the author of eight other books, including Leverage: How to Create Your Own “Tipping Points” in Business and in Life. His work has influenced hundreds of organizations and millions of individuals around the world. His corporate career includes management positions at Ford Motor Company and Digital Equipment Corporation

Table of Contents

  1. Praise
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Table of Contents
  5. Dedication
  6. Acknowledgements
  7. Introduction
  8. Chapter 1 - The Energy Inside
    1. More Powerful Than a Strawberry
    2. A Fusion of Ideas
    3. What Is the Energy Inside?
    4. What Gets in the Way?
    5. Be a Power Unleasher
    6. The Energy Inside Conflict
    7. A Chain Reaction
  9. Chapter 2 - When Opposites Collide
    1. Purpose
    2. Resistance
    3. Disagreements
    4. Collisions
    5. Multiple Perspectives
    6. Getting to Yes/Yes
  10. Chapter 3 - It’s Not About Taking Advantage
    1. Abundance Mentality
    2. Conflict…Conquest
    3. Pre-Call
    4. Control or Influence
  11. Chapter 4 - A Respect for the Origin of Ideas
    1. Universal Principles
    2. Whose Idea Is It?
    3. Who Owes Whom?
  12. Chapter 5 - The Huge Fallacy of Not Listening
    1. Whose Stupid Idea Is That?
    2. Another Approach
    3. Listening: Do You Want To?
    4. The Weird-Jerk Syndrome
    5. Four Magic Words
    6. The Danger of Conflict Avoidance
    7. Dealing With Difficult People
    8. Increase Your Listening Effectiveness by 50 Percent Overnight
    9. Implications for Conflict Management
    10. Listening: A Very Intelligent Act
  13. Chapter 6 - The Optimist’s Answer to Everything
    1. Internal Conflict
    2. Dilemmas
    3. Indecision and Fear
    4. Which Side of the Bed?
    5. Include Others
    6. The Optimist’s Answer
    7. The Tyranny of the “Or”
    8. Idealistic and Naïve
    9. Conclusion
  14. Chapter 7 - Leadership: Becoming the Master of Dichotomies
    1. Mastery
    2. Perceptiveness
    3. Master of Dichotomies
    4. Tough Love
    5. Theodore Roosevelt
    6. Render Unto Caesar
    7. A Grand Dichotomy
    8. Leadership Dichotomies
    9. To Conclude
  15. Chapter 8 - Communication: From Conflict to Innovation
    1. A Review
    2. The Art of Life
    3. Masters of the Art of Communication
    4. Be a Reader of People
    5. Be Aware of Equal vs. Unequal
    6. Cross the Line to Create Rapport
    7. Deal With Interests vs. Positions
    8. Real Power: Agreement in Principle
    9. Remember the Big Picture
    10. Track Your Agreements
    11. Be Agreeable
    12. The Principle of Yes/Yes
  16. Chapter 9 - The Power of Personality Opposites
    1. Personalities: To Clash or Not to Clash
    2. Beyond Personalities
    3. Behavioral Preferences: A Conceptual Model
    4. Where’s the Pilot?
    5. Avoiding the Weird-Jerk Syndrome
    6. Taking It to the Next Level
    7. Principles of Team Conduct
  17. Chapter 10 - The Power of Cultural Opposites
    1. Be Thankful!
    2. What Does It All Mean?
    3. Geopolitics
    4. Culture
    5. Ethnic Culture
    6. Freezing in Hawaii
    7. An Island on the Island
    8. A Rainbow to Share
    9. Religions of the World
    10. Nationalism
    11. Corporate Culture
    12. Communities and Neighborhoods
    13. Who Owns the World?
    14. We Are in This Together
    15. The Great Age
  18. Chapter 11 - The Power of Ideological Opposites
    1. Absolutes
    2. Guilt Trips
    3. A Corner on the Truth: Religion
    4. A Corner on the Truth: Politics
    5. A Corner on the Truth: Workplace
  19. Chapter 12 - Getting What You Need by Helping Others Succeed
    1. Negotiating/Influencing Styles
    2. What About You?
    3. You, the Communicator
    4. Pushing Hot Buttons…or Not
    5. Passive—Aggressive—Assertive
    6. Discipline Is Remembering What You Want
    7. Defining Your Problem-Solving Mission
    8. Achieve
    9. Preserve
    10. Avoid
    11. Force Field Analysis
    12. The Balance of Power
    13. Adversaries and Enemies
    14. A Prayer Room for My Friends
    15. Revisit: Agree in Principle
  20. Conclusion
  21. Recommended Reading
  22. About the Author