Chapter 7

Listening Actively

In This Chapter

arrow Showing others that you value them

arrow Going beyond hearing

arrow Perceiving feelings

arrow Responding respectfully

You may think that listening and hearing are the same thing. They’re not. Hearing is a physiological process, in which your ears process sound waves. Listening is a psychological process in which you interpret what you hear and respond in a way that demonstrates your understanding. Hearing happens. Listening is a skill that you develop.

Active listening – paying attention to what the other person is saying as well as how they’re speaking – takes communication to another, deeper level. You understand not only the information the speaker is telling you, you gain insight into their thoughts and feelings about what they’re communicating. As the Greek moralist and biographer Plutarch (46–120 ad) said, ‘Know how to listen, and you will profit even from those who talk badly.’

In this chapter you gain insights into how you can be fully present with other people, letting go of your agenda to focus on theirs. You discover how to recognise feelings ...

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