CHAPTER 16

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The Art of Loving Someone Very Different from Yourself

CARL JUNG, ONE OF THE towering figures of modern psychology, wrote, “It is very often the case … that an introvert marries an extrovert for compensation, or another type marries a countertype to complement himself.” If you are in a long-term intimate relationship, there’s a 95 percent probability that your partner’s style is different from yours. We base that estimate on more than three decades of observing the mix of styles in couples we meet, as well as on self-reports of people in our workshops. Just as there’s no better or worse style, there’s no better or worse combination ...

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