You are previewing People Styles at Work...And Beyond, 2nd Edition.
O'Reilly logo
People Styles at Work...And Beyond, 2nd Edition

Book Description

Why is it so hard to work well with some people? People Styles at Work...and Beyond presents a comprehensive, practical, and proven method readers can use to: • recognize how they come across to other coworkers • read others’ body language and behavior to identify the best ways to work with them • make small adjustments that will dramatically increase the quality and productivity of their interactions • find common ground with different people while retaining their individuality • relate less defensively and more effectively—no matter how others act The book reveals the strengths and weaknesses of four different people styles, providing practical techniques that work both on the job and off. Now including all new material on personal relationships, parenting, and more, this is the ultimate guide anyone can use to enhance even the most difficult relationships.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright
  4. Dedication
  5. Contents
  6. Introduction
  7. Part One: Understanding Yourself and Others
    1. 1 No Wonder We Have People Problems
    2. 2 People Are More Predictable than You Might Think
      1. Behaviors
      2. Habitualness
      3. Clusters of Behaviors
      4. Assertive and Responsive Behaviors
      5. Pervasive and Enduring Influence
    3. 3 What’s Your Style?
    4. 4 Two Keys to Understanding People
      1. Characteristic Behaviors of More-Assertive People
      2. Characteristic Behaviors of Less-Assertive People
      3. Characteristic Behaviors of More-Responsive People
      4. Characteristic Behaviors of Less-Responsive People
    5. 5 See Yourself as Others See You
    6. 6 The Driving Style and the Expressive Style
    7. 7 The Amiable Style and the Analytical Style
    8. 8 Make the Most of Your Gifts
      1. Drivers’ Strengths Overused or Misapplied
      2. Expressives’ Strengths Overused or Misapplied
      3. Amiables’ Strengths Overused or Misapplied
      4. Analyticals’ Strengths Overused or Misapplied
      5. Don’t Underestimate the Effort Needed to Eliminate Your Weakness
      6. Team with One or More Complementary Partners
    9. 9 Backup Styles: Extreme, Inappropriate, and Inflexible Behavior
      1. Extreme, Inappropriate, Inflexible Behavior
      2. A Protective Reaction Triggered by Excessive Stress
      3. An Automatic Reaction
      4. Expressives in Backup: Attacking
      5. Drivers in Backup: Autocratic
      6. Amiables in Backup: Acquiescing
      7. Analyticals in Backup: Avoiding
    10. 10 Coping with Backup Behavior
      1. Take a “Time Out” for Yourself
      2. Decrease Your Use of Backup Behavior
      3. Don’t Save Your Backup Behavior for Loved Ones
      4. Avoid Making Decisions When in Backup
      5. Expect That People Won’t Always Be at Their Best
      6. Recognize When the Other Person Is in Backup
      7. Don’t Get Hooked by the Other Person’s Backup Behavior
      8. Don’t Do Business with Someone Who Is in Backup
      9. When Others Are in Backup, Don’t Try to Talk Them out of It
  8. Part Two: Style Flex: A Key to Improved Relationships
    1. 11 The Style Flex Solution to People Differences
      1. Basic Flex
      2. Style Flex
      3. Manipulation
      4. Conformity
      5. Flexibility
    2. 12 Four Steps to Better Relationships
      1. Step One: Identify
      2. Step Two: Plan
      3. Step Three: Implement
      4. Step Four: Evaluate
      5. Not All the Time
      6. Open in Parallel
      7. Just-in-Time Flex
      8. When an Important Matter Is Being Discussed
      9. When the Other Person Is Experiencing Considerable Stress
      10. When the Person You Are with Is Especially Rigid
    3. 13 How to Identify Someone’s Style
      1. Degree of Assertiveness
      2. Degree of Responsiveness
      3. Let the Other Person Take the Lead
      4. Pay Attention to Body Language
      5. Don’t Be Misled by Style Labels
      6. Treat Your Initial Identification as a Working Hypothesis
      7. Recognize That Knowing Styles Is Just a Starting Point
    4. 14 Flexing in Special Situations
    5. 15 Three Keys to Good Relationships
      1. Respectfully
      2. Fairly
      3. Honestly
  9. Part Three: People Styles and Family Relationships
    1. 16 The Art of Loving Someone Very Different from Yourself
      1. Phase I: Attraction
      2. Phase II: Frustration
      3. Phase III: Adjustment
      4. Phase IV: Devotion
    2. 17 Style-Based Parenting
  10. Appendices
    1. Say What You Think
    2. Facilitate Self-Determination
    3. Be Clear About Your Goals and Plans
    4. I For Amiables Only: How to Flex to Each Style
    5. II For Drivers Only: How to Flex to Each Style
      1. Be Open to the Expressive’s Fun-Loving Side
      2. Slow Your Pace
      3. Slow Your Pace
    6. III For Expressives Only: How to Flex to Each Style
      1. De-emphasize Feelings
    7. IV For Analyticals Only: How to Flex to Each Style
      1. Be Supportive
      2. Demonstrate Interest in the Human Side
      3. Communicate on the Expressive’s Wavelength
  11. Bibliography
  12. Index