No One Ever Told Us That: Money and Life Lessons for Young Adults

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

EVERY FAMILY IS A SOAP OPERA

You're not the only one who thinks that your family is dysfunctional or crazy. Only families in denial think they put a perfect face out to the world. I love the people who send out tales of their family adventures during the holiday season. I kept a classic example of this in a bookshelf in my office; the beautiful family's picture is displayed for all to see.

“Your family?” newcomers ask.

“Nope,” I answer, “just a shining example.” The attractive parents have four children: two boys, two girls. The letter inside of the card talks of prizes, trips, and jobs at Vogue, Goldman Sachs, and Disney. And that's just the kids. The parents love each other desperately, dominate the nonprofit boards of their city, and go to Davos, Mustique, and the Aspen Institute. This letter was so over-the-top that if you took it at face value, it was enough to ruin your holidays. The truth is often the opposite of the perfect family, and those holiday letters make almost all of us, the recipients, share the same gag reflex because we know that most of the holiday reports are wishful thinking, putting on the bold face.

Many of you reading this have come from divorced parents. You've sadly built up scar tissue from dealing with this while growing up. It hurts. My parents stayed married until my father died. But they fought constantly and armed silence often ruled the household. They stayed with it partly because that was the norm. I had met only two people ...