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Managing the Millennials, 2nd Edition by Mick Ukleja, Chip Espinoza

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Chapter 10Don't Take Things Personally: It Is Not Always about You

Self-Differentiating from the Abrasive

They assume it is okay to call me by my first name … like we are buddies—I am their boss!

—Hotel manager

I found that it can be very difficult to take criticism from them. I've had to just let things go because it seems that they don't have a filter. They really don't hold off what they're thinking.

—Minister

I have been a people pleaser my whole life but I think they [Millennials] have cured me.

—Tavern owner

I know it sounds harsh but why should I show them respect when they haven't earned mine?

—A Millennial

I believe one thing that often causes a rift between people in managerial positions and Millennials in the workplace is the lack of respect. The managers assume that we aren't informed or well educated, and that all we do is play extreme sports and get piercings, when that is as far from the truth as they could possibly get.

—A Millennial

Unlike the other competencies, self-differentiating is something you do for yourself. It helps you to more effectively use the other competencies without getting emotionally hooked. It is especially important because poorly differentiated managerial leaders find it difficult to continue a relationship with people who disagree with them or who are not considered to be on their team. (See Table 10.1.)

Table 10.1 Self-Differentiating from the Abrasive

Self-Differentiating (Don't Take Things Personally) Abrasive
It is the ability ...

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