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Leading with Emotional Intelligence: Hands-On Strategies for Building Confident and Collaborative Star Performers

Book Description

Everyone agrees that Emotional Intelligence (EI) plays a key role in overall success. But when it comes to putting theory into practice, EI consultant Reldan Nadler, Psy.D., has written the only book on the subject that shows you step-by-step how to:INCREASE CONFIDENCEIMPROVE TEAMWORKENHANCE COMMUNICATIONDEVELOP STAR PERFORMANCEPROTECT YOUR IQ WITH EIThe more than 100 cutting-edge tools and strategies presented here are used by the most effective leaders in the world.

Table of Contents

  1. Cover Page
  2. Leading with Emotional Intelligence
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Contents
  6. Preface
  7. Acknowledgments
  8. Introduction: Why Emotional Intelligence?
  9. Chapter One: Are You A Star Performer or Just Average?
    1. Leadership Skill Gap
    2. How Can Leadership Help at This Time?
    3. EQ, IQ, or Technical Expertise?
    4. The Four Areas of Emotional Intelligence
    5. Profiles of Star Performers
      1. How Star Performers Shine
      2. Warren Buffett
      3. Carly Fiorina
      4. Jeffrey Immelt
      5. Sergey Brin
      6. Pete Carroll
      7. Meg Whitman
      8. Bill Clinton
      9. Earvin “Magic” Johnson
    6. Lack of Self-Control and the Inability to Delay Gratification
      1. The Marshmallow Study
    7. Stretching Strengths: Going from Good to Great Leadership
    8. Micro-Initiatives: D.O.D. of Great Leadership
      1. Coach’s Corner on Assessments
    9. Taking the EI Star Profile Assessment
    10. Are You or Your Boss Debilitating?
      1. What Is a Debilitating Boss?
      2. Disengaged Workers and Their Costs
      3. What Employees Want
      4. Power of Leadership
      5. The Solution: If You or Your Boss Are Debilitating
    11. Taking the Derailer Detector
    12. Strategic Use of Strengths
    13. Star Performer Action Plan
  10. Chapter Two: Emotional Self-Control Tools And Strategies
    1. What Is the Emotional Self-Control Competency?
    2. Emotional Intelligence Research Examples
      1. Stress, EQ, and IQ
    3. Where Did My IQ Go?
      1. Brain Neuroscience: Understanding How the Hijack Happens
    4. Famous Fallen Star Hijacks
      1. Zinedine Zidane’s Head-Butt
      2. Tiger Woods’s Sex Scandal
      3. Joe Wilson’s “You Lie!” Outburst
      4. Serena Williams’s Outburst
      5. Other Famous Hijacks
    5. The Coach’s Corner: 8 Strategies for Emotional Self-Control
      1. 1. Self-Awareness: Are You Predictable?
      2. 2. Affect Labeling
      3. 3. The Emotional Audit
      4. 4. Putting On the Brakes
      5. 5. Mindfulness
      6. 6. Shuttling Exercise: Internal and External Awareness
      7. 7. Identifying Triggers
      8. 8. Reappraisal
      9. Star Performer Action Plan
  11. Chapter Three: Self-Confidence Tools and Strategies
    1. What Is the Self-Confidence Competency?
    2. Emotional Intelligence Research Examples
    3. Star Profile: Henrik Fisker, CEO, Fisker Coachbuild, LLC
    4. 10 Secrets & Current Practices of Henrik Fisker—Star Performer
      1. 1. Take Private Time
      2. 2. Get Third Opinions
      3. 3. Evaluate Capacities
      4. 4. Shoot from the Hip
      5. 5. Go with That Gut Feeling
      6. 6. Take Initiative
      7. 7. Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses
      8. 8. Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes
      9. 9. Reinforce People
      10. 10. Be Willing to Make Decisions That Are Exceptions to the Rule
    5. The Coach’s Corner: 10 Strategies for Self-Confidence
      1. 1. Being on Your Case vs. Being on Your Side
      2. 2. Reflections on Thinking
      3. 3. Busting Perfection: Creating Realistic Expectations
      4. 4. Success Rules: Who Is Running You?
      5. 5. Success Log
      6. 6. Current Success Log
      7. 7. The Five Pivotal People in Your Life
      8. 8. Visualization
      9. 9. Decisiveness
      10. 10. Thin-Slicing
    6. Star Performer Action Plan
  12. Chapter Four: Teamwork and Collaboration Tools and Strategies
    1. What Is the Teamwork and Collaboration Competency?
    2. Emotional Intelligence Research Examples
    3. Star Profile: Paulette Jones, Director of Technical and Strategic Business Development, NMB Technologies Corporation
    4. 10 Secrets & Current Practices of Paulette Jones—Star Performer
      1. 1. Start the Day with “An Attitude of Gratitude”
      2. 2. Focused Greeting of People
      3. 3. Communication
      4. 4. Red Flag Meetings
      5. 5. Revenue Gap Meetings
      6. 6. BAT Teams (Business Acquisition Teams)
      7. 7. Team Meetings
      8. 8. Continual Process Review
      9. 9. Valuing Staff
      10. 10. Humor
    5. The Coach’s Corner: 23 Strategies for Teamwork and Collaboration
      1. 1. Shared Vision
      2. 2. Trust Among Members
      3. 3. Expectations and Guidelines
      4. 4. Communication Skills and Conflict Resolution
      5. 5. Systems Thinking
      6. 6. Personal Leadership
      7. 7. Appreciation of Differences
      8. 8. Accountability and Consequences
      9. 9. Ongoing Learning and Recognition
      10. 10. Mentor Others
      11. 11. Meeting Mastery and Meeting Menace
      12. 12. Snapshot Management: “The One-Hand Rule”
      13. 13. Meeting Menace Checklist
      14. 14. Team Meetings
      15. 15. Guidelines for Running a Great Meeting
      16. 16. How to Establish Roles Within a Team Meeting
      17. 17. “Stand-Ups”—Short Team Meetings
      18. 18. The Meeting Checklist
    6. Experiential Teambuilding Exercises
      1. 19. “Nails” Teambuilding Activity
      2. 20. “Performance and Accountability” Teambuilding Activity
      3. 21. “Expectations” Activity
      4. 22. Team Assessment
      5. 23. Teamwork Ingredients Survey
    7. Star Performer Action Plan
  13. Chapter Five: Developing Others Tools and Strategies
    1. What Is the Developing Others Competency?
    2. Emotional Intelligence Research Examples
    3. Star Profile: Mark French, University of California at Santa Barbara (UCSB) Retired Head Coach, Women’s Basketball Team
    4. 13 Secrets & Current Practices of Mark French—Star Performer
      1. 1. Leader’s Point of View (POV): Basketball as a Metaphor for Life
      2. 2. Practice
      3. 3. Bonding and Team Meetings
      4. 4. Recruiting Stars
      5. 5. Building Effective Relationships
      6. 6. Self-Assessments and Goal Setting
      7. 7. One-on-Ones
      8. 8. Supportive Learning
      9. 9. Timely Feedback
      10. 10. Focus on Strengths
      11. 11. Take Personal Responsibility
      12. 12. Performance Review
      13. 13. Briefings Before and After the Game
    5. The Coach’s Corner: 11 Strategies for Developing Others
      1. 1. Hiring Stars: Emotionally Intelligent Leaders Are More Likely to Be Hired and Become Stars
      2. 2. Behavioral Question List
      3. 3. One-on-One Meetings
      4. 4. Soaring with Strengths
      5. 5. Input + 1
      6. 6. Circle of Influence
      7. 7. Performance = Potential – Interferences, or P = P – I
      8. 8. Delegation
      9. 9. Coaching for Performance
      10. 10. Scaling Questions
      11. 11. Development First
    6. Star Performer Action Plan
  14. Chapter Six: Communication and Empathy Tools and Strategies
    1. What Is the Communication Competency?
    2. Emotional Intelligence Research Examples
    3. Star Profile: John Davies, CEO and Founder, Davies Public Relations
    4. 11 Secrets & Current Practices of John Davies—Star Performer
      1. 1. Touch the Heart
      2. 2. Understand What People Want
      3. 3. Find Your Passion
      4. 4. Find Your Uniqueness
      5. 5. Read People
      6. 6. Acknowledge/Do Not Offend
      7. 7. Summarize and Integrate
      8. 8. Be Prepared
      9. 9. Training and Personal Growth
      10. 10. Quality in All
      11. 11. Finding the “Needle in the Haystack”
    5. The Coach’s Corner: 12 Strategies for Enhancing Communication and Empathy
      1. 1. Empathy Skills
      2. 2. Listening and Rapport-Building Skills
      3. 3. White Space Issues
      4. 4. Intention/Interpretation Gap
      5. 5. Power of Language: Metaphors, Stories, and Words
      6. 6. Clarity: Connecting the Dots to a Better Future
      7. 7. Giving Feedback: SSBIR
      8. 8. Assumption Ladder: Arriving and Delivering Communication
      9. 9. Balancing Inquiry and Advocacy
      10. 10. The Left-Hand Column
      11. 11. Dialogue vs. Discussion
      12. 12. Dialogue Roles
    6. Star Performer Action Plan
  15. Chapter Seven: The Game Plan
    1. The Plays
    2. Keeping Score: Your Leadership Scorecard
  16. Notes
  17. Bibliography
  18. Additional Resources
  19. Index
  20. Footnote
    1. int-fn1