On tone-deafness, identity, and reputation

Fortunately, most of us are at least vaguely aware of our general inclinations. This gives us an element of control over our actions and effect on others. Some individuals, like the main character in the movie What Women Want, appear clueless or tone-deaf about their behaviors, tendencies, and impact on others. Other persons seem very self-aware. What explains these differences? No one knows for sure, but greater self-awareness is possible.

images LEADERSHIP SPOTLIGHT

To thine own self be true, or I'm alright, Jack

In Shakespeare's Hamlet, Polonius dispenses long-winded advice to his son Laertes, who is anxious to travel to Paris for his “gentleman's” education. In this famous passage, Polonius exhorts his son to be neither a lender nor a borrower. But at the end of his sermonizing, Polonius concludes:

This above all: to thine own self be true,And it must follow, as the night the day,Thou canst not then be false to any man.

There is wisdom in Polonius's warnings, of course, although what Shakespeare meant is probably not about the self-awareness the phrase has come to mean. It was from a play about selfishness and about taking care of yourself first. As Polonius sees it, borrowing or loaning money, carousing with women of medium virtue, and other immoderate pursuits are “false” to the self. By false, Polonius seems to mean detrimental or disadvantageous ...

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