14

THE EMPATHY JOLT

Benefit:Transition a person from resisting to “willing to do” in a single step, by changing the dynamics of a relationship.

Great anger is more destructive than the sword.—INDIAN PROVERB

Early in my career, I grew tired of listening to coworkers, couples, and family members who refused to listen to each other. I hated the “he said/she said” wars. I hated the zero-sum games. In these infantile debates, the best I could achieve was a temporary truce. More often, I felt like I was putting a temporary bandage on a gaping, hemorrhaging wound.

I had a name for the culprits in these situations: “ignorant blamers.” These were the people who treated communication as a blood sport, ranting relentlessly about another person’s failings ...

Get Just Listen now with the O’Reilly learning platform.

O’Reilly members experience books, live events, courses curated by job role, and more from O’Reilly and nearly 200 top publishers.