Just a Geek

Acknowledgments

WHENEVER I OPEN A CD from one of my friends’ bands, I scan the acknowledgments, hoping to see my name stuck down there, near Zildjan, Fender, Patricia Ford, Brianna Banks, Jenna Jameson, and Sky Lopez. However, my name is never there. Sure, I supported them, went to their shows, and listened to their jam sessions. But there is only so much room for thanks, and including me would mean taking out someone else who deserved to be there.

I mention this, because I really hope that more porn stars will e-mail me so they can make it into the next book. I also offer this as an apology to all the people who I love, and who love me, who won’t get thanked here. If I listed all of you, it would fill its own book. Having said that, there are a few people who were instrumental in seeing the book completed, and I would like to thank them now.

Mom and Dad, Jeremy, and Amy. You have been with me my entire life. Without you, there are no memories, and no stories to tell.

Anne, Ryan, and Nolan. You looked at my back for months while I wrote this, and endured my temper tantrums when I couldn’t get words to string together just the way I wanted them. You are my life.

Gene Roddenberry. Thank you for letting me spend some time beneath the wing of The Great Bird Of The Galaxy.

Mrs. Westerholm. In 7th grade, you told me that I was a great writer who would publish a book someday. Thank you for encouraging me. We need more teachers like you.

Mrs. Lee. In 9th grade, you told me that I was a terrible writer who would never amount to anything, because I was a stupid actor. Kiss my ass, baby.

Marian Fife. You took me from 10th to 12th grade in the “real” Starfleet Academy. I credit you with my relentless drive to be the best I can be.

Brett McLaughlin. You knew when to push, when to back off, and have an uncanny knack for picking out the stuff that sucks from the stuff that doesn’t suck.

Everyone at O’Reilly Media, but especially Sara, Kyle, Kathryn, Ellie, David, Mary, and, of course, Tim.

Loren Cox, Josh Sisk, and Ben Claassen. You guys encouraged me to build WIL WHEATON dot NET. Without your moral and technical support, the website would never have been more than an idea. The weblog that is the foundation of this book would not exist.

Chris Black and Hank Hedland. You’ve made such a difference in my career . . . if I ever get back on camera, it will be due in large part to your hard work and faithful counsel.

Travis Oates, M.D. Sweeney, Dan O’Connor, Tracy Burns, Susie Geiser, and Cynthia Szgeti. You all taught me how to trust my instincts and encouraged me to develop my comedic voice.

The cast of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sunday Show. We found our funny together.

Sam Christiensen. When I (and Hollywood) had no idea who I was, you helped me discover my essences. Without you, I’d never know that I’m passionate, uncompromising, wry, crackling, unfulfilled, honorable, and too smart for my own good.

Oingo Boingo and Cake provided the soundtrack for the first draft. Massive Attack, Portishead, Underworld, Blueman Group and Dirty Vegas provided the soundtrack for the first rewrite. U2, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, The Getup Kids, Saves The Day, and The Pixies provided the soundtrack for the final draft.

John Kovolic. You are an amazing artist and creator, and I am so honored that you gave me drawings for this book. Just like Ben’s illustrations in Barefoot, you’ve added an entirely new and wonderful level of humor and warmth to my story.

The Monkeyboxers and the Früdø crew: jbay, Roughy, Spudnuts, Greeny, Colin, MrsVeteran, JSc, Bobby the Mat, and bluesman. BINGO, fuckers! Rest in peace, Colin.

Drew Curtis and all the TotalFarkers. Thanks for providing just the right amount of distraction when I was in the homestretch.

Jen Frazier and all the GeekMonkeys at ThinkGeek.com. Thanks for hooking me up with all sorts of cool geek gear for the cover shoot. I swear that Guinness just compiles better when I drink it from a pint glass labeled #include <beer.h>

Maryelizabeth Hart at Mysterious Galaxy, Amber Berger at Powell’s, Steve Jackson at Steve Jackson Games, and Warehouse 23 all stocked Dancing Barefoot when nobody was really sure if I could actually do this writing thing. Thank you for believing in me.

Everyone who has read, linked to, and contributed comments to WWdN over the last three years. You all encouraged me to write a book. Well, here it is!

Cory Doctorow, Dan Perkins and Rob Matsushita. Your advice and encouragement have made this book better and made me a better writer. Thank you.

Kathleen McGivney. I’m so glad we’re friends. Thanks for your encouragement during the “this sucks and nobody’s going to like it so let’s just get drunk” hours. Your One Eyed Cat has a Cult!

I must also give very special thanks to my good friend Andrew Hackard. Andrew took time off from his real job at Steve Jackson Games to edit the first draft of this book. Andrew’s red pen, knowledge of the rules of English grammar, and tireless support have made all the difference. Without Andrew’s devotion and care, this book wouldn’t have ever made it past the “hey, maybe I’ll write a book” stage.

Finally, Nunu and Aunt Val. Somehow, I think playing “The Gong Show” in the kitchen at Topanga when I was three had something to do with all of this. I miss you. I love you.